


Balance

by BindiTheSkunk



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Acorn Feels (Tolkien), Alternate Acorn Scene, Alternate Universe - Battle Of Five Armies, Alternate Universe - Bilbo Remains In Erebor, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asshole Thranduil, BAMF Bilbo Baggins, BAMF Dáin Ironfoot, BAMF Dís, BAMF Tauriel, Battle of Five Armies Feels, Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, Big Brother Fíli, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield Fluff, Bilbo is So Done, Bilbo is misguided, Caring Bard the Bowman, Dain is NOT an asshole, Don't worry though, Dwarf & Hobbit Cultural Differences, Dwarves and Hobbits Have the Same Lifespan, Dáin Ironfoot Appreciation Society, Dáin Loves His Piggies, Emotionally Constipated Thorin, F/M, Fíli and Kíli Are Little Shits, Fíli and Kíli Brotherly Love, Gold Sick Thorin, Hurt Kíli, I don't care if it's not canon they will live long and happy!, I'm Sorry Tolkien, King Thorin, Legolas Greenleaf & Tauriel Friendship, M/M, Magical Accidents, Multiple Pairings, Ori Is A Sweetheart, Overprotective Dwarves, Possible Mpreg, Sassy Bilbo Baggins, Smaug Is A Sneaky Butthole, Story, Story request, Surprise Pairing, Tags Contain Spoilers, Thorin Feels, Thorin Oakenshield Is a Dork, Thorin has chivalry, Thorin is a Gentle-dwarf, Thorin is a Softie, True Love's Kiss, Well he is one, certain hobbits have magic, character death sort of, luck magic, magic comes at a price, maybe idk, trickery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-30
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 36,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22472089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BindiTheSkunk/pseuds/BindiTheSkunk
Summary: Story request by Maya_IyokuBilbo always knew he was different, but now perhaps, he could use that to save not only himself but others as well...
Relationships: Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Kíli (Tolkien)/Tauriel (Hobbit Movies)
Comments: 216
Kudos: 303





	1. Chapter 1

Bilbo Baggins had always known he was different, his mother had always called it 'special' well his father always said 'unique' though no one ever told him what made him so queer.

He had the same pointy ears 

The same respectable furry feet 

The same stomach that could out-feast a starved oliphant 

He thought he was like everyone else, he did not look any different, but something in his mind, perhaps that Tookish intuition, told him that he was not like other hobbits, that he had something that very few possessed.

If he thought about it for too long, he did find it weird that as a faunt his little moments of naughtiness did seem to be easy to get away with, but then it seemed like all of it would build up and he would find himself with a broken toe or finally a prank would be discovered and his bottom would be very much bruised after his captor was done teaching him a lesson!

But perhaps it was like that for all hobbits? Bilbo had never been able to learn, no one seemed interested in telling him, though quite a few rumors spread about him, a few hurt him deeply.

So he chose to just forget it

He would be as respectable as anyone else, forget anything that made him odd and just be like everyone else was.

And he did 

Till a wandering wizard decided to come in and unlock what had been buried for so long 

"Put that back! put THAT back! Not the jam!" Bilbo stood in the hallway as a gaggle of dwarves raided his pantry and the hobbit shook his finger at them like a mother with her naughty fauntlings, trying desperately for them to just put his food back, but no one seemed to hear him! They already trod mud into the carpets and destroyed a perfectly good chunk of blue cheese! He did not need any more of their nonsense! 

Curse his luck! 

"That is a book! NOT a coster!" 

What was that clanking noise? Was that his chandelier!? 

Oh no, you don't!

The hobbit ran into the halls again only to see something else that demanded his attention.

"Not my prizewinners, thank you!" Bilbo shouted as he yanked his tomato's away from- which dwarf was that again? The one wearing all the knitwork... Bah! Not like he cared....they all looked the same anyway, one of them could be a woman for all he had heard about how dwarves looked! Though the bodily noises leaned more towards them all being male! 

Though the one who knicked his chamomile and then his wine was leaning towards the other side of the fence....fruity bouquet? Realy? (Though this is coming from someone who is a fusspot themselves) 

UGH! Now he was going to have bootprints all over his table! 

Was that BELCHING he was hearing!? 

And now the fish headed one was after his doilies and wiping his mouth with it! 

He said Crochet, not croquet!

"Bebother and confusicate these dwarves!"

"My dear Bilbo, whatever is the matter?" Gandalf walked in smiling walking past starfish head and the hatted one who now we're fighting over a string of sausages. 

"What's the matter?! I'm surrounded by dwarves! What are they doing here?" Bilbo asked looking up at Gandalf just wanting an answer for all this nonsense.

"Oh they are quite the merry gathering...once you get used to them"

"I don't WANT to get used to them! The state of my kitchen....theres mud trod in the carpet! They pillaged the pantry! I'm not even going to tell you what they have done to the bathroom, they have all but destroyed the plumbing!" Bilbo did wonder if he should have left that nasty surprise for Gandalf to figure out himself, would serve the meddling old man right, but a proper retaliation could wait "I don't understand what they are doing in my house!" But before a proper or improper answer could be given the knitted one walked over to the hobbit, an empty plate in hand.

"Scuse me, I'm sorry to interupt...but what should I do with my plate?" knitted one asked before blondie walked up from another hallway.

"Here you go Ori, give it to me" Blondie took the plate from now dubbed Ori and threw it to darkie who was standing by the kitchen doorway and more plates and bowls followed soon after.

"EXCUSE ME!!! that's my mothers west farthing crockery! it's over a hundred years old!!!" 

All he got was laughter 

bang bang!

"C-c-can you not do that!? You'll blunt them!" 

"OOHH you hear that lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!" Hatted one grinned and the rest of the dwarves started pounding their feet on the floor and if it was possible picking up their plate tossing speed and tricks.

_Blunt the knives, bend the forks"  
Smash the bottles and burn the corks  
Chip the glasses and crack the plates  
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Cut the cloth, tread on the fat  
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat  
Pour the milk on the pantry floor  
Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl  
Pound them up with a thumping pole  
When you're finished if they are whole  
Send them down the hall to roll!_

_That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!_

Oh, what fresh hell was this...

Wait, his pottery was all nicely stacked...

**bang bang!**

"He's here..."

More dwarves?! 

Thankfully Gandalf went to answer the door this time, let HIM be the one almost squashed by a bunch of bodies this time...

But the door opened and only one dwarf stood outside, he looked young, but he had streaks of silver in his hair, he stepped inside and undid his cloke after acknowledging Gandalf.

'You said this place would be easy to find, I lost my way, twice, I would not have found it at all if not for that mark on the door..." 

Mark?

"There is no mark on that door it was painted a week ago!" Bilbo said but even he could not help but go forward to see for himself if there was some kind of blemish on his doorway.

"There is a mark I put it there myself," Gandalf said bluntly closing the door and keeping whatever mark there away from Bilbo's view "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company...Thorin Oakenshield"

"So, this is the hobbit...tell me Mister Baggins, have you done much fighting?"

"Pardon me?"

"Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?"

"Well I do have some skill at conkers...if you must know, but I fail to see, why that is relevant" 

Why was this dwarf circling him? He felt very much like a rabbit under the gaze of a starving wolf.

Thorin gave a smirk that said something that Bilbo could not quiet place but could tell he was not about to like what came out of that mouth "Thought as much, looks more like a grocer than a burglar" the dwarf said bluntly making the others laugh.

How rude! 

But perhaps NOW he would get some answers! Even if they were from this sack of smugness...


	2. Chapter 2

He did not know whether to curse his luck or his Took blood...

Maybe both would be appropriate 

Also cursing that beautiful voice that the rude king possessed...that should have come with a warning label!

Now here he was, without his pocket handkerchief, on a hairy pony which he was having an allergic reaction to and now was trying to make do with the cloth Bofur had tossed to him, and doing his very best to not think about where it might have been before the hatted dwarf had ripped it off his person.

At least he was not booted out his door, he chose to run after them all like a madman...whether that was good luck or bad luck remained to be seen.

Next chance he got he was going to confront Gandalf about why he was chosen specifically for this journey, Bilbo had a feeling it had something to do with this 'special' power that he supposedly had, but how in Yavanna's green gardens did the wizard find out about it? Bilbo himself knew nothing about it!

But perhaps it was time he learned what he could, it was his 'magic' or whatnot that was going to be used, after all, he wanted to know everything that was involved, the wizard did say he would be changed after this adventure, did that mean Gandalf planned on fully unlocking this power? What would happen then? Would it keep them all safe from the dragon? He hoped so! Or would it change his personality? Magic could be very good or very bad, depending on the user, or items could corrupt their wielder, but this was his power, after all, it had been with him since he was born, so that meant it was a part of him and should not change him at all...

Wait

Did he remember to lock the door? 

Yes, he was sure he did

moving on ...

After what seemed like hours of riding and more than enough rough bouncing on his poor bum they finally stopped to get some rest at what appeared to be a very old and falling apart cottage and let the ponies eat and drink a little bit and Bilbo more than happily got off Myrtles back and slid back onto his feet where a proper hobbit should be! He was getting used to her, but he would much rather not be bouncing on her like a child on its mothers lap!

Now was his chance to figure out what exactly Gandalf had in mind for him, because he highly doubted that he had put this whole thing together just to help out a small band of noisy and rude dwarves with no other motive behind it, he could have chosen any random hobbit after Bilbo made it clear that he did not want any part of this adventure, but he then he used sneaky methods to get what he wanted, and in the end, he did get it, but what was the endgame to this? Why him specifically? Whatever random power he had most certainly could not take down something as mighty as a dragon...

Or could it? 

Perhaps it was something useful for that! 

Turning into a pile of ash did not sound like a very good time so he wished it was something to prevent him from becoming dragon droppings.

Bilbo spotted Gandalf talking to Thorin and wandered over, ready to begin his questioning as soon as the dwarf was done with his conversation, which seemed to be rather heated.

Only for the wizard to start stomping off looking like someone used his hat to wipe their nose

"Is everything alright? Gandalf where are you going?" Bilbo asked now really worried and tried to get the wizard's attention but the wizard kept on walking not even turning to look at anyone of the group.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who makes any sense!"

"Who is that?" 

"MYSELF Mr. Baggins! I have had enough of dwarves for one day!" 

"Is he coming back?" Bilbo asked when the wizard was too far away for him to ask personally 

This was not good at all....

Later into the night things did not get better and the Shireling only got more concerned the longer that the wizard remained absent and wandered over to where Bofur was helping his brother Bombur (he was sure he got it right this time) cook and keeping the chubbier dwarf from eating the whole pot.

"It's been a long time..." Bilbo mumbled 

"He is a wizard! He does as he chooses, now do us a favor and take this to the lads" Bofur asked, handing Bilbo two bowls of the soup before scolding Bombur for trying to sneak a sample from the pot "Stop it! You have had plenty..." 

And with that Bilbo went to go see how Fili and Kili's pony watching was going, he thought he heard some teasing about Dori's cooking on the way out, but he was not sure, but said dwarf could make a good cup of tea, so it might have just been a joke.

The two brothers were standing perfectly still, which in all honesty was scary in itself considering how much the two seemed to loath any sort of stillness any other time, walking between them he saw Kili had a creepy stare and Fili looked like he saw someone spit in his boot "What's the matter?"Bilbo asked holding the bowls out to them.

"We are supposed to be looking after the ponies" Said Kili

"Only we have encountered...a slight problem" Said Fili

"We had sixteen"

"now there's fourteen"

Bilbo wondered if they did that twin speak on purpose....

"Daisy and Bungo are missing!" Kili shouted as the three of them wandered through the pony patch to perhaps collect some information to where the two wandered off to.

"Well, that's not good...that is not good at all! Shouldn't we tell Thorin?" Bilbo asked and from the looks, on the boy's faces, he knew he would not like the answer.

"eeeaa...noooo...no need to worry him! Besides as our official burglar, we thought YOU might like to look into it!" Fili said obviously just looking to preserve his and his brother's skins from the tongue lashing Thorin would undoubtedly give them for losing two ponies.

"Well...uhh...looks like something..BIG, uprooted these trees..."

"That was our thinking..." Kili said flatly 

"Very big...possibly quite dangerous..."

"Hey...there is a light...over here" Fili whispered looking into a part in some trees and the three of them skulked over to a fallen log and looked over it.

"Stay down!" Kili warned and then some gritty laughter was heard obviously not from any present dwarf or hobbit.

"What is it?" 

"Trolls..."

And with that, the young princes launched themselves over the log and started hauling it towards the light leaving Bilbo to just stare at their backs for a second before heading to follow them nearly leaving the bowls behind.

Oh dear

Don't want that to tip over...might attract mice to the ponies 

Bilbo grabbed up the bowls again and followed the boys to where they had crouched down behind another uprooted tree and quickly found another one for himself as something lumbered on past them and frightened whinnies were heard forcing him to peek out.

"It's got Myrtle and Minty!" Bilbo said horrified, he may not have liked how she made him sneeze but he did not want her eaten! "I think they are going to eat them we have to do something!"

Both brothers quickly looked at him with a look that obviously meant no good for the hobbit

This was not good...

"Yes, you should! Mountain trolls are slow and stupid and your so small they will never see you!" Kili said pushing him forward.

"Me? oh nonononono!" Bilbo started 

"It's perfectly safe! We will be right behind you!" Kili assured 

"If you run into trouble hoot twice like a barn owl and once like a brown owl," Fili said pushing him even further forward.

"Twice like a barn owl, twice like a brown...once like a barn...are you sure this is a good idea?" Bilbo turned around to ask the brothers

Nowhere to be seen

Those little!

If he was eaten whatever was left of him was yanking their ears off!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it is taking so long to get this fanfic going...but I do not just want to copy-paste the whole script till we get into the good stuff and I can't just piss on the whole script because it's the script and it will only really change a lot near during the BOFA arc (don't worry though some goodies will happen in AUJ and DOS just not a TON because Bilbo is still going to be in his "training" phase ) he won't just immediately know how to use his magic (several stories have done it with the magic AU where, Bilbo, at once knows how to use magic and quickly goes into blowing orc shit up, but that is really over the top and seems more crackish then a story trying to be taken seriously ...so please be patient with me, I am trying to make a good story for you all that won't just be tossed into the fanfiction dust bin...this was a requested fiction so I am not just going to belch it out...


	3. Chapter 3

Bilbo went closer to the lights making sure the lumbering beasts did not catch a glimpse of him and saw that the three trolls were putting the ponies inside a large but shoddily made fence held together with thick but old looking rope.

Should be easy enough to free them...just needed to wrench the ropes free, he was good with knots after all! 

Bilbo got onto his hands and knees and started to crawl over to the pin hoping he was making himself small enough to not be seen and was so focused on it that he picked up a bone by accident and tossed it down in disgust.

A sudden loud sneeze startled him and the trolls quickly began talking about it 

"Oh, that's just lovely that is... a floater!"

Creator...NO...

"Might improve the flavor!"

He was going to be SICK...

"I got more where that came from!" The one troll said and started to hack up another one only to have his nose grabbed by the cooking troll and shoved back onto his log seat.

"Sit down!!!"

If he was not so worried about not becoming another pile of bones in the heap he would have been sickened by the lack of proper clean up after their dinners and lack of manners in general.

Even the dwarves had the decency to pick up after themselves! And to not eat innocent farmers...or to sneeze into a pot of soup.

By the creator these knots were strong! And the rough material was digging into his fingers something awful...

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today, and blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer!" The one particularly nasty looking one said and Bilbo had to breathe deep but as quiet as he could to keep his stomach from twisting at the images conjured.

Wait...

That one troll had a knife ...that would cut through the ropes...

Bilbo snuck over and bent down to try and see which angle would be best to grab the dagger from.

Only to get an eyeful of the troll scratching his bottom 

Gross! 

Focus Bilbo!

The hobbit kept on trying to free the knife from the belt but it proved to be tied down tight to the Troll and every single move Bilbo made he feared the monster, dumb as it was, would wonder what it was feeling and look down or one of the others would spot him hanging out next to their friends sharp object and would make a lunge for him.

Wait what was the troll...

"EYAH!" Bilbo cried out as he was grabbed up in the giant handkerchief the troll had been using earlier and was promptly sneezed all over and coated in sticky green snot and had to fight very hard to not add vomit to the mess.

This was not good!!!

"Wah! Look what's come out of me ooter!" the troll, Tom he thought he had heard earlier screeched

"What is it?" Bert asked 

"I don't know! But I don't like the way it wriggles around,UgH!!!!" Tom whined and threw Bilbo to the ground like he was a hot potato right from the pot.

"Whataryou? An oversized Squrriel!?" Bert scowled pointing his ladle at the Shireling

"I'm a burgla-hobbit!" Bilbo started shaking his head trying to clear it so he could think of a way out of this situation but his brain seemed to not be on his body's side that night.

"A burglarobbit?" Tom questioned "Can we cook him?" he suddenly grinned suddenly getting over his disgust at thinking he had sneezed out the tiny creature, then again he was willing to eat his own boogers that he had sneezed into the soup, so no real surprise he would be even more delighted at an even bigger one.

"He won't make more than a mouthful..but if we find more..might be enough for a PIE!" Bert yelled and swung a meaty fist in Bilbo's direction to try and catch him only to have his appendage ducked under.

"It's too quick!"

"Grab it!" 

Bilbo suddenly felt his foot being grabbed

Curse his luck again!!!!

"Now..are there more of you around?" Bert asked poking at him with the ladle

"NO!" Bilbo said, perhaps too quickly trying to squirm free from Williams grasp 

"He's lying! Hold his toes over the fire! Make him SQUEAL!!" Tom growled only to squeal like a hung pig himself when Kili dashed from the bushes and slashed his leg with a sword.

"Drop him!" Kili scowled before grinning holding his weapon higher to look more threatening 'I said...DROP him..." 

"With pleasure..." 

Bilbo did not like flying at all!!! 

Nor dwarven rock-like bodies

Poor Kili most likely was not happy either as he was the one being used as a catching net

More battle cries erupted from the trees as the rest of the company ran out and started to make quick work out of the trolls, hitting jaws, groins and kneecaps till the lumbering beasts saw an easy target and took it. 

Bilbo soon found himself in a position that he had only seen wishbones in and hoped that was where the metaphor ended...

"Lay down your arms! Or we will rip his off!" 

\--

Wow, this sack smelled...needed a good wash with some of his mother's famous soap...

Not the time Baggins!

Several dwarves had been strapped to a spit and the rest of them, Bilbo himself included, lay in large sacks wriggling around like worms trying to free themselves from the bonds with Thorin even doing his best to try and bite his way through the ropes and poor Fíli is trying desperately to flip over after being dumped face down to no avail.

"Hurry it up, will you!? I don't fancy being turned to stone!" William said

Stone?

That is an idea...

"Wait! You are making a terrible mistake!" Bilbo started only to be interrupted 

"You can't reason with them, they're half-wits!" Dori called out from his place on the spit

"Half-wits"? What does that make us?" Bofur questioned

"wadda you want? what mistake?" Bert asked

"Well have you smelt them? You have got a lot of seasoning to do before you chomp this lot!no, you need something special" Bilbo said only to have several enraged yells to come from the dwarves who did not seem to catch onto what he was doing, even Thorin started yelling and calling him a traitor and he did not want to think too hard about what Dwalin was shouting at him and the other trolls tried to convince their leader of sorts to not listen but thankfully the cook seemed interested in what he thought Bilbo had to share.

"Let's let the burglaobbit talk..." Bert said leaning in "what's the secret to cooking em?"

"Well ...uhhh...the secret...to cooking dwarf is to...skin them first!!" Bilbo gave a forced grin 

More enraged yelling

"Go get me Fileting knife..." 

Well, it was helping to convince the trio of trolls ...

Tom was not having it "What a load of rubbish! They is just as good raw!" He said picking up a terrified Bombur with full intent to eat him alive.

"No, not that one! He's infected! He's got worms, in his... tubes!" Bilbo knew he was wincing at that last bit not even convinced at his own explanation.

"EWWW!" 

Thankfully Bombur was off the hook for now though..

"In fact, they are all infected! I wouldn't risk it...I really wouldnt..all got parasites" Bilbo said trying to sound as deadly serious as possible about it only to hear more squawking from his side.

still being so slow...

"We don't have parasites! You have parasites!"

Please play along you idiots!!!

Thorin thankfully seemed to have (finally!) gotten the clues and gave the group one good kick that seemed to tell them what was actually going on.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"

"Mine are the biggest parasites! I've got huge parasites!"

"What would ya have us do then? Let 'em all go?" William growled who was now starting to catch onto Bilbo's plan.

"Well..." Bilbo smiled a bit trying to sound as casual as he could only to be shoved down 

"You know what I think, you're trying to-"

"THE DAWN SHALL TAKE YOU ALL!!!" came a booming voice as Gandalf came into view and stood proudly on top of a large boulder.

"Who's that?"

"No idea.." 

"Can we eat him too?" 

Gandalf struck his staff onto the rock and with a mighty crack it split in two and the sun burst through onto the trolls whose skin promptly started to stiffen and turn grey as they screeched till nothing more remained but three hideous statues.

Everyone quickly began cheering 

Well mostly everyone...

"Get your foot out of my back!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please note I am taking some liberties with the scenes since I can't remember every single line and such that happened...plus this little bit of information put me off watching the hobbit for a while... https://pagesix.com/2020/02/17/sherlock-star-martin-freeman-admits-smacking-his-kids-and-calling-them-little-f-kers/amp/ 
> 
> yeah do not want to see HIS fucking face for a while, seeing our cute hobbit in fanart/fanfiction and such is still on the table though, so do not mistake this bit for me not being a fan any more or will put me off making more stories for you all...
> 
> who wants to bet Bilbo would put laxatives in his drinks? or just tie him up and poke him mercilessly with Sting?


	4. Chapter 4

Once everyone was back onto their feet proper, they stretched and walked around glad to be out of bags or off the hot spit and Thorin had a few questions running around in his head.

He had been so angry at the hobbit when he suggested he skin them, but as quickly as his anger and sense of betrayal had risen, it had gone and he had suddenly realized exactly what the tiny creature was trying to do and had told him to convince the others to play along with the game.

Usually, his anger lasted much longer than that...

Just ask Thraindul (Or better yet, don't ...)

Seems like there was something about that Shireling after all and Thorin wanted to figure out what it was, he did not seem to possess any magic though, he just talked to the trolls and then the wizard showed up and broke the stone so the sun would do its work on them.

But he highly doubted it was the wizard who cooled his temper during that moment, that did not seem to be his sort of thing, he was the type to rile others up.

It was like cool water had poured on his rage and doused them like it was a simple campfire, then he seemed to realize in the same moment that the hobbit was trying to buy time till the wizard could do his own role in the rescue and the ex-blacksmith was glad all it took was one kick to convince the others of what was really going on.

It was rather odd now that he thought about it...one kick and one look was all it took to convince a group of riled up dwarves to cool off and play along when it usually took him screaming at the top of his lungs to have even a few seconds of silence when the group was in a mood.

Very strange indeed...

Should he just confront the hobbit about what had happened? Perhaps he did work magic on them and Thorin had just not felt it, that kind of power could be dangerous, to influence the soon to be king under the mountain with seemingly such ease...the small creature did not seem the type to desire power over others though, but if he was under the wizards own magical command, things could become very difficult very quickly.

Thorin had thought that Baggin's had simply changed his mind about accompanying them once he had met his small group properly and had changed it again when he had run after them like he was being chased, all in all, he had done very little to endear himself to Thorin, appearing indecisive, untrustworthy and very high maintenance.

Expecting their whole party to turn all the way around for a nose rag...

But..recent events did bring up the question...

Was it all an act? 

It was a confusing one if so, what could either the wizard or the hobbit get out of this whole venture? The gold was a lure for many, but the wizard did not seem like he needed it, being one of magic and the hobbit seemed very comfortable in his house, neither seemed to want for anything, so they only coming for the promise of gold was very unlikely.

If not the treasure, then what? Did they want positions of court after he was king? The wandering wizard standing around performing party tricks day in and out? Again, unlikely he would want to give up the life he seemed very comfortable with, same with the hobbit, Thorin himself had trained most of his life to be king under the mountain, neither of his strange guests seemed to possess any skill in politics, especially dwarven politics, which more often than not, involved yelling and showing you could back up your barking with a fierce bite, the wizard was intimidating when he wished, yes, but to hold a sturdy hand over a horde of angry dwarrow? Thorin would like to see that! 

And the hobbit had no eyebags or calluses on his hands showing a life of any sort of work outside of perhaps a paper cut or two playing with his maps and books, so a grab for power did not seem to be his desire either, he would be eaten alive.

wait...

Now, where was everyone going?!

A cave? Suppose the trolls needed someplace to stay during the daylight hours...

Oh, creator, it smelled...

Coins shuffled under his feet, as did many other random items, items taken from previous victims of their guts no doubt, but perhaps there would be some things they could use, not like their keepers would miss them in their stone sleep and those swords looked promising...

"These swords were not made by any troll," Thorin said more or less trying to get any possible information that the wizard might have on them and handed one over to be inspected.

"Nor were they made by any smith among men.," Gandalf mumbled and blew some dust off of the sword as he unsheathed it to see any possible markings as Thorin admired the one in his own hands, it was a stunning piece ...

"They were forged in Gondolin...by the high elves of the first age..."

He took it back...

Too twisted for him, he should just put it back...

"You could not wish for a finer blade!" the wizard scolded as Thorin was obviously about to toss the elvish made weapon away and Thorin swallowed his disgust long enough to unsheath it from its holder to see for himself.

He had to admit, it was beautiful....of course, the elves would just allow it to gather dust in a troll horde ...lost to the time they just wandered through like ghosts...it might do them good to see a dwarf wield the history they threw away.

"Let's get out of this foul place...come on let's go, Bofur, Gloin, Nori!" Thorin shouted and made a note to possibly have a small group return to see if they could salvage any other weapons, and the coins and gems, despite the odor they gave off, might lose that stench if they where properly heated and molded... hopefully everyone had the sense to grab a handful to refill their purses, they still had a long way to go...

He did not need anyone to see him scooping up gold...he did not want to have his sanity questioned so soon into their quest, especially not because he just took a handful of gold, better to let the others fill their purses, he did not need a lot anyway.

Where was that silly wizard now? 

Oh, he was talking to Mr. Baggins...and giving him a dagger? 

Now that was interesting...

Did he perhaps know how to wield a sword and acted stupidly when he asked his weapons preference? So many questions... wait.

"Somethings Coming!!" 

"Arm yourselves! Hurry now!" Gandalf ordered as the shuffling in the bushes got louder and the strangest sled any of them had ever seen burst forth from the brush.

"THIEVES FIRE MURDER!!!!" screamed a little man on the sled, he looked like an orc had gotten a hold of him and then used his clothing as a bathroom implement.

"Radagast! Radagast the brown!" Gandalf walked over to talk to the new wizard 

"What on earth are you doing here?" The grey wizard asked and Bilbo could not help but take notice it was in the same kind of tone one gave when someone was about to ask their family member not to embarrass them in front of a new friend.

"I was looking for you Gandalf, somethings wrong, somethings terribly wrong!" Radagast started 

"Yes?"

Then the brown wizard started to make the strangest facial expressions like he could not quite find the words to say "Just give me a minute...ohhh! I Had a thought and now I lost it! It was right there on the tip of my tongue!" Then with a look of bewilderment from Gandalf and a look of realization from Radagast, the brown wizard stuck out said body part "oh! It's not a thought at all! It's a little stick insect!" he said as Gandalf pulled the tiny bug free from its captivity taking some drool with it and put it into his friend's hand.

Yuck...

NOW, where was that wizard going?! 

"Stay here, I need to speak to Radagast alone, do NOT try and listen in!" Gandalf said and led the other wizard over to a clearing leaving the company far enough away to were hey could not hear what they were going to say.

Bilbo and Thorin did not like this, they did not like this one bit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any story ideas/requests let me know, I'm always open for a fun new idea


	5. Chapter 5

Good thing these mushrooms had cushioned his fall...even if they did smell like mold and mildew.

Maybe falling down that dark pit away from the others was his punishment for saying those cruel things to Bofur, he knew he was out of line the moment he had said them, they had just slipped out carelessly from his mouth like bile, he should have been more empathetic, yes he missed his home, but the dwarves had been without one for decades! They had no maps or books to aimlessly get lost in well sitting in front of a warm fire and drinking hot tea from a delicate china cup, they had to wander aimlessly, working for whoever chose to give them a task and most likely being given peanuts for their labor.

Yes, he truly was a selfish hobbit just like the rest of his kin, he was all doilies and brass buttons, whining for a handkerchief well others had no home to go back to, his longing for his bed was nothing in comparison to his new companions who had not had a spot of their own in who knows how long, he needed to find the others, perhaps he could even help save them from that goblin horde and apologize imme-

Wait..he had fallen with one of the goblins! 

Bilbo looked over and saw that the form of the monster that grabbed at him was laying on the ground and just moving its head around, but did not seem to be able to do anything else, it was obviously too hurt to do more than twitch at the moment, most likely broke it's back on the rocks, Bilbo truly did luck out with landing on the mushrooms, he would not like to be in the goblins place! Though a part of him did feel bad for the creature, it was more than likely in a lot of pain.

He just needed to get his own bearings, then he would put the poor thing out of its misery, he was not going to let it, goblin or not, suffer.

Hold on....

Was that movement from that opening?

The sound of bare feet slapping on wet stone rung in the empty caverns and a spindly creature came out of the darkness, it made a strange sound, like a gurgling in its throat, it was horrifically thin, with no hair and eyes that glowed like a cats, it was focused on the wounded goblin and made a delighted noise on seeing it.

 _"Yes!"_ The creature exclaimed in a raspy hiss _"YES! yeeessss....gooollumm Gollum" _It crawled around and even on the goblin's body before grabbing it by the feet and begun to drag it off and Bilbo watched in horror as the goblin seemed to regain its senses and tried to defend itself only for the new creature to screech in terror or anger, he was not sure which, and begin smashing the goblin in the head with its own fists and even a rock it managed to snatch up.__

__A flash of gold distracted the hobbit from the carnage_ _

__What is that?_ _

__A ring?_ _

__The band seemed to fly out of the Gollum creatures loincloth and then landed on the ground with a heavy sounding thud, it sounded too heavy for such a small ring._ _

__Gollums voice drew his attention again_ _

___"Naaaasssty Gobbbinsesss....better than old bones precciousess, better than NOTHING!"_ Gollum said as he dragged the goblin down a tunnel._ _

__He needed out of here!_ _

__Now!_ _

__Bilbo quickly got to his feet and was glad to see a blue glow from under the mushrooms, Sting was thankfully not lost when he might need it very soon if that thing saw him...no! Can't think like-_ _

__It was a nice ring...what was it doing in the pocket of that Gollum?_ _

__Perhaps he could use it in case the thing saw him, he did not like the idea of ransoming someone else's property, but it did seem too nice to just let get washed away in the damp caverns..._ _

__He picked it up_ _

__It was light...much lighter than it had sounded..._ _

___"NOOO!!! too many bonses preccious!!! Not enough flesh!"_ _ _

___"Shut up! get the skin off!"_ _ _

__What was going on with that?_ _

__

__Singing entered his ears_ _

__

___"The cold hard lands, they bites our hands, they gnaws our feet! The rocks and stones, are like old bones, all bare of meat! Cold as death, they have no breath, it's good to eat!"_ Gollum sang as he pounded at the goblin, trying to wrench the skin from the bones._ _

__He would let the dwarves sing 'blunt the knives' all night if it helped get that LOVELY little tune out of his head!!!_ _

__The goblin made one last attempt to slash at Gollum, only for the skinning stone to be smashed against its head and Bilbo saw Sting flicker before being snuffled out like a candle._ _

__Oh creator...wait a moment, Sting was not glowing anymore even with that other thing around...that meant..._ _

__If that thing was not a goblin or an orc...than what was it?_ _

__Bilbo turned around the rock once more to see what else was happening or to perhaps see an opening he could run into, but all he saw was the corpse of the goblin, no Gollum._ _

__Where had it gone?_ _

__Hissssss....._ _

__Bilbo looked up...and wished he had not_ _

__Gollum lept down from the rock, eyes blazing and landed right in front of the shireling._ _

___"Blesses and splashes precious!! that is a meaty mouthful!"_ Gollum grinned showing pirana like teeth and tried to lunge at the hobbit with the full intent of taking a fleshy chunk then and there._ _

__Move Bilbo! you have a sword!_ _

__Bilbo pushed the end of Sting into the creature's chest, not enough to pierce the skin, but he hoped it got the point across! He was not a snack!_ _

__"B-back! Staayy B-back! I-i'm W-warning Y-you! Don't come any closer!" Bilbo stuttered, hating how his voice shook but it seemed to do the trick as the Gollum wandered off to the side muttering to himself._ _

___"It's got an elfish blade...but it's not an elfs....not an elfs no...what is it precious? What is IT!?"_ _ _

__"My name...is Bilbo Baggins!" well at least his voice did not shake then...and he did not call himself a burglar first..._ _

___"Bagginsess? What is a Bagginsess Precious?"_ _ _

__"I'm a hobbit, from the Shire..." just keep it talking..._ _

___"Ohhh haha!!! We like Gobbinsess batses and fishes! But we hasents tried hobbitsess before!"_ Gollum once more skulked forward, his eyes showing he was going in for another bite _"Is it soft? Is it Juiiiccy?"__ _

__"No! No! No!" Bilbo swung sting like he might a broom to chase away a mouse "Keep your distance! I'll use this if I have to!!!" Gollum roared at him but backed away "I don't want any trouble! Do you understand!? Just show me the way to get out of here! And I'll be on my way!"_ _

___"Whyy? is it LOST?"_ _ _

__"Yes, and I want to get un-lost as soon as possible" Bilbo said now out of breath from swinging his sword around as he had._ _

___"ohh we knows! we knows safe passes! safe pass in the dark! SHUT UP!"_ _ _

__"I didn't say anything..."_ _

___"Wasnt talking to you!"_ _ _

___"Well...yes we was precious...we was..."_ _ _

__"Ok look...I don't know what your game is but-"_ _

___"GAMES!!!!"_ Gollum screeched in delight and bounced onto a rock to face Bilbo again _"we loves games doesnt we precious?! does it like games?! does it!? does it like to play!? HAHAHAHHA!!!"_ _ _

__Bilbo was not sure what to make of any of that, but if it helped him get out of this hole..._ _

__"Maybe..."_ _

___"What has roots as nobody sees, Is taller than trees, Up, up it goes, And yet never grows?"_ Gollum asked excitedly moving his hands._ _

__Oh, that was a simple one..._ _

__"The mountain" Bilbo answered easily and could not help but lower Sting a bit_ _

___"Yes!!! yesss!!! heeheee....oh lets have another one! yes do it again, do it again! Ask us-No! No! No more riddles! finish him off...finish him NOW-Gollum!golluM!!EYAAAH!!!"_ Gollum lunged again and Bilbo held up his hand._ _

__"NO!No!I-I want to play! I want to play! I do,I want to play, I can see...you are VERY good at this..."_ _

__Did its eyes just change?_ _

__A trick of the lighting...that must be it..._ _

__"S-so...why don't we...have a game of riddles? Yes...j-just you and me?"_ _

___"Yes...yes..just us?"_ Gollum grinned getting uncomfortably close to Bilbo's face but the hobbit forced himself to smile and nod._ _

__"Yes...and if I win...you show me the way out, yes?" Bilbo said trying to keep his voice calm._ _

___"Yes..."_ Gollum then growled and ducked behind a rock and began to mumble things that the Shireling did not want to think about at all before popping back out _"And if bagginsess loses, we eats it whole"_ Gollum smiled as if he did not just ask to eat his 'guest'._ _

__No choice now though ...._ _

__"Fair enough..."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> watched both versions of "Riddles in the dark" from both PJ version and the animated 1977 version sooo..might be a bit of a mix in the next chapter just to shake things up a bit...
> 
> let me know if you think I should lean more towards the films/ animated version or the book or just kinda throw caution to the wind for the rest of this 
> 
> much more is coming...so many things are coming once I'm allowed out of the canonical clutches...


	6. Chapter 6

Sheathing Sting might not have been a good idea, but best to not risk tripping and falling onto it, then the Gollum would really have a chance to do whatever he wanted then...

Let's see, something that might trick the creature, yes this thing liked riddles, but it couldn't have been able to find too many books on them or just know every one, so he just had to think of really tough ones and hope just one or two would be enough to get him out of this situation!

Okay...

Oh! That was a good one...

Thirty white horses on a red hill,  
First, they champ,  
Then they stamp,  
Then they stand still.

Oh he might have him! He looked so confused...Those facial expressions are kinda cute for a monster, whatever he happened to be...maybe Gandalf would know? It did seem very mentally ill, perhaps the wizard could help it? Not like this thing knew better than what it...chose to do, after all, it seemed very child-like...and familiar in a way.

"Teef?"

Oh no...

"TEEEEFFF!!!! HAHAHAAH!!! Yes yes my precious!!! But we only have...Nine" and as if to prove his point, the Gollum showed them off to Bilbo and revealed they were sharpened into points and looked rotten.

Oh gross...he needed a dentist too!

"Our turn.."

Ok, how bad could it be? The first one he asked was easy...

Voiceless it cries,  
Wingless flutters,  
Toothless bites,  
Mouthless mutters

Or not...

"Just a minute if you please..." Bilbo wandered off to the side to think, it sounded like the answer should be simple, voiceless cries....bites...flutters...

"Oh we knows we knows!!! ShUt Up!" Gollum cries out and for a moment Bilbo hopes he will give him another clue in his lapse of sanity but nothing else comes.

Don't get distracted Bilbo...think...

Looking into the filthy water, the Shireling saw several ripples appear in the inky liquid as a cold wind blew through the caves and sent a chill through his bones as it bit through his summer jacket.

Wait...

Bit...

"Wind..It's wind! Of course, it is!" Best to appear smarter than he felt at that moment....

A hissing growl was his answer

"Very clever hobbisess...VERY clever..." Gollum hissed even deeper and approached Bilbo once more looking like his bloodthirsty side had taken over again and said hobbit drew Sting from it's sheth to point it at the creature.

"uh uh!"

Think think...

"A-a...a A box without hinges, k-key or lid,  
Yet golden treasure inside is hid.

yes just keep away from him...he sure did like to mumble, didn't he?

"Well?"

"Nasty!"

"Give up?"

"Give us a chance Precious give us a chance!"

Bilbo moved to look and see if the Gollum looked defeated..and upon seeing the...uniqe facial expressions as the creature tried to think of the answer, Bilbo could not help but think back to his cousin Otho after he had eaten too much cheese and made almost as big of a disaster of Bilbo's bathroom as the dwarves had ...and even messed up several tiles on the floor, ugh....

"Eggies! 

Oh, bother...

"Yes yes! Wet crunchy little eggies! Grandma taught us to suck them Yeeeesss!!!" Gollum cackled and Bilbo heard the fluttering of something in the cave and turned away a bit startled hoping that there was no 'grandma' version of this thing wandering around that made that noise but was glad to see it was just a bat taking flight and turned around to receive his riddle.

Gollum was gone

Oh that was not good...

hisssssss.....

"We have one..for YOU..."

This thing all things devours:  
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;  
Gnaws iron, bites steel;  
Grinds hard stones to meal;  
Slays king, ruins town,  
And beats high mountain down.

"Answeeeer uuussss..."

"Give me half a moment...I gave you a good long while..." Bilbo started trying to think of what it could possibly be and found himself whispering to himself.

Now he was doing that mumbling thing....

"I don't know this one.." 

Did he say that out loud?

"Is it...tasty? is it...scccruppptous?"

Two clammy hands on his shoulders 

"Is it CRUNCHABLE!?" 

"Let me think!!!" Bilbo swung around keeping Sting in the monster's viewpoint till he was sure it would not attack just yet and turned around to keep thinking. 

"It's stuck...Bagginsess is stuck...hehe..times up..." 

Oh! 

"Time! time...the answer is time!!!" 

"grrrr!!!"

"Uh well..wasn't that hard!" Bilbo gave a crooked grin hoping it would help settle his nerves, it did not.

"Last question..." Gollum hissed and picked up a rock just under his feet "last chance...Ask us....ASK US!!!!" 

"Yes yes..alright..." Bilbo wandered back over to his previous thinking spot and absentmindedly began to put his hand in his pocket only to feel something brush against his thumb.

That was odd...Didn't he put the ring in his other pocket? Was this ring magic? No of course not, he just forgot...or ..did he? What was it...

"What have I got ...in my pocket...." Bilbo muttered to himself his mind suddenly wandering away from the task at hand to wonder about the little gold piece.

"T-that...thats not fair!!"

Huh? Did he say that out loud too?

"Not fair! this game is a ruse!!!" Gollum cried and tossed his stone to the ground in front of Bilbo.

Well, at least that was not his head...

"No ask us another one!!!" Gollum whined

Well, he did say ask him something...not exclusively a riddle...but if it got him out of this situation...he could just throw the ring behind him as he left and run before it figured out what he had done. 

"No nono...you said ask me a question! Well, that is my question! What have I got in my pocket?" Bilbo said confidence suddenly surging through his bones, he had this in the bag now!

"Three guesses precious! it must give us three!!!" Gollum hissed at him and held up two fingers.

Suppose that was fair, even if he would never guess it..

"Three guesses! Very well guess away..." Bilbo said as pleasantly as he could trying to not act like he felt he had already won.

"Handssess!" 

Bilbo held up his free hand "guess again!"

"fishbonesgoblinsteethwhiteshellsbatswingsfrrrrrKNIFE!!!SHUTUP!!! String!!! Or Nothing..." 

"Two guesses at once! And wrong both times..." Bilbo felt kind of bad when the Gollum fell to the floor crying in a heap.

No Bilbo! He is just a bratty child having a tantrum! Make him show you out! 

"so..come on then...I won the game, you promised to show me the way out..." Bilbo approached Gollum hoping this was the end of all the craziness, he needed some fresh air.

"Did we say so precious....did...we...say....SO...what HAS it got in its pockestesss?" Gollum rasped and glared at Bilbo like he wanted to kill him with his stare alone.

"That's no concern of yours..." Bilbo said not wanting to give away his ace in the hole just yet, he wanted to be out of the cave first! "You LOST...." 

Gollum skulked over smiling now "Lost? Heh....lost? Lost..." reaching into his own pocket, a look of realization came over his face.

Oh that was not good at all...

"OH...WHERE IS IT?! WHERE IS IT?! NOOO EAAAAHHHHh!!!!!" Gollum flew around the rocks and slashed at the water and smashed his fists down and spun around like a top screaming the whole time "NO!!! CURSES AND SPLASHES!!! PRECIOUS IS LOOOOSSSTT!!!!" 

Bilbo quickly took the ring out of his pocket and hid it behind his back suddenly feeling the urge to keep it away from Gollum, he might need it after all, if things got much nastier.

"Musnt ask us! not it's business!!NOOOO!!! GOLLUM GOLLUM...." the monster curled up at the edge of the waters and stared into them.

Perhaps he should just find his own way now....

"What has....it got..in its NASTY...little...pocketssess...." 

Oh ..please...no...raise the sword...raise the sword....

"He stole it.....he STOLE IT!!!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not like how many people call Bilbo out on "cheating" in his game with Gollum but ...If you were a stickler for the rules, yes, it was a bit of a cheat, He asked a question that was hard to answer, not a riddle.  
> However, Bilbo was thinking aloud when he said it and did not mean it to be a question for Gollum. Gollum thought it was, and demanded 3 guesses.  
> In accepting its validity in their game and setting a condition of 3 attempts, Gollum permitted its inclusion in the game. He made 3 guesses (“Handses”, “Knife”, and finally “String or nothing”, which was in truth 2 guesses in one)
> 
> the Ring was able to exert a powerful influence almost immediately on unsuspecting creatures (although whether it would be less pronounced rather than more on those who knew what it was and were mentally set to resist it is in serious question; see Isildur.) I doubt we’ll ever know if this thinking aloud on Bilbo’s part was under the subtle, nudging influence of the Ring, but it may well be so...Gollum should have protested the last “riddle” and forced Bilbo to propose an actual riddle instead. He was well within his rights to do so, but instead, he proposed an alternate answering mechanism (three guesses) and implicitly accepted the riddle. So Bilbo was not cheating.
> 
> Not to mention...
> 
> Gollum was losing patience and wanted to get the riddle game over with. He was reaching into his own pocket to retrieve the Ring and then would have turned invisible to murder/eat Bilbo. At best, he would tell Bilbo the way out and then murder/eat him on the way out. Obviously, Bilbo finding his “precious” threw all his plans out of the window, Gollum had no plans to keep his end of the bargain, he was just looking for a temporary playmate who he could later eat 
> 
> he says SEVERAL times over the course of "riddles in the dark" how he wonders how Bilbo would taste "is it soft? is it juicy? is it crunchable?" and always calls Bilbo an "it" throughout the game ...he was just a plaything 
> 
> Smeagol was a sick creature before he found the ring...he murdered his cousin after being in the presence of the ring a few MINUTES, well Bilbo DID lunge at Frodo, he almost imminently snapped out of it and burst into tears and begged not to be shown it again and he had the damn thing for 60 years before he snapped at Frodo (and he also had the ring for longer than Smeagol when he killed the centipede-thing from the film ) (and both instances scared him (he looked ready to puke after killing the centipede and started crying after the incident with Frodo ) (well Smeagol just took the ring from deagol to admire it) and in the few moments he had the ring..he SPARED Gollums life...the opposite of what Smeagol did who's first reaction was murder.


	7. Chapter 7

Run run run!!!!

"GIVE IT TO US!!!" 

He could just drop it...but then it might roll away and he would still be in danger...think...

Ah! It was in front of him!

Wait! There was a crevice...he might be able to squeeze through it...

Bilbo ran for the crack in the rock wall and squeezed his body through, for once glad he did not possess the same body that was deemed respectable by other male hobbits as he would have never been able to fit...now his waistcoat buttons were stuck! Not now!

Gollum heard the sounds of the hobbits struggle and turned back, looking at his prey for only a moment before charging with a demonic scream ready to tear Bilbo apart for taking the ring "It's OURS....it's...OURS!!!!" 

With another big push, Bilbo wrenched the buttons right off his waistcoat sending them flying into the air and one even hitting Gollum in the face and forced the rest of his body through the hole and landed hard on his back sending the ring soaring from his pockets.

He needed to ...catch it...

Reaching out with a hand he was sure it would just fall to the ground with his meager catching attempt, only for it to suddenly jerk back towards him and fall upon his finger as if called to the digit and he felt a surge of coldness fall upon him as things turned a strange grey color and he seemed to feel a wind against him despite the closed-off space, but he could not think too much on it as Gollum also lept through the crack with a howl and began looking around for his desired meal.

He looked right at Bilbo and the hobbit thought that would be the end...but the Gollum just ran past him a few feet away screaming thief into the darkness.

"Baggins!!!" was the screech Gollum let out before wandering into another hole 

What...

The ring...the ring...

By all the Shire...it was magic! 

Bilbo got to his feet knowing only that he was alive..and he was going to keep this little trinket that saved his life, a magic ring did not need to be in the hands of that monster, he was going to use it to kill the Shireling after all, and used it against perhaps countless others... and was just glad he was of enough sound mind to keep Sting in his grip the whole time...he was going to use it...

"Wait!!! Precious! WAIT!" Gollum screamed into the abyss and Bilbo was glad to see daylight coming from one side of the tunnel he was screeching into, that was the way out! Now he just had to take care of this horrible monster...

The hobbit slowly walked over to Gollum who had his back turned, no need to give himself away, even if he was not able to be seen by Gollum, he could still bite and if Bilbo got a chunk taken out of him with those things the creature called teeth...either he bled to death ...or got a raging infection...neither seemed like a pleasant way to go...

Footsteps drew Bilbo's attention

Booted footsteps!

Gandalf ran into sight and the dwarves soon followed! Oh, he was never so happy to see the wizard and dwarves in his life! 

He was just about to call out when he remembered that Gollum was right there, the creature was stronger than he looked and could either choose to attack where the voice came from, or to grab whichever dwarf that chose to peek into the crevice and use them as a hostage against the others, no, he needed to end this now! Quickly and silently...wait for Gandalf to get the others and himself out first...

Getting closer Bilbo bit down the feelings of pity he had for this creature, He just needed to do one blow...

Raising Sting above his head Bilbo prepared himself to deliver a fatal blow...only to lower it when Gollum turned around.

Big blue eyes seemed to stare at him, even though Bilbo knew he could not see him, they peered into his soul and the pity rushed back into his bones, this was just a sad, lonely creature, it was insane, yes, but was that even its fault? Something had happened to him...something awful...

What was he ...

He was ..going to kill someone, this was not right...

Bilbo made his choice just as the insanity and rage leaked back into Gollums face and with as big of a jump as he could muster he leaped up and used his large feet to grab the stones and dove over Gollums head one foot even grazing his face sending him to the ground, but he had no time to feel bad over that and just kept running and could only listen as more rage-filled howls filled his ears.

"Baggins!!! THEEEIF!! Curse it and Crush It!!! We hates it FOREVER!!!!" 

Bilbo ran after the fading forms of the dwarves and stopped behind a tree to catch his breath only to hear the company fighting about him and arguing over who lost him or how he got lost.

Then Thorin turned to speak 

"I'll tell you what happened, Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He has thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he stepped out of his door! We will not be seeing our hobbit again...he is long gone!" Thorin growled out, obviously angry by this supposed betrayal.

And Bilbo knew he was not wrong...he was going to leave them behind...but not anymore!

He yanked off the ring and stepped out 

"No...He Isn't" Bilbo said and was a bit touched when he saw Bofur's look of relief at seeing him, the dwarf may have been loud and silly, but he was an amazing friend...

"Bilbo Baggins! I have never been so glad to see anyone in my life!" Gandalf smiled and made his way over to the hobbit.

"Bilbo! We had given you up!" Kili said honestly before Fili pitched in.

"How on earth did you get passed the goblins?" 

Oh...he couldn't let them see it...they might take it from him...with it and his supposed magical power, he could do so much during the quest now...

Slipping the ring into his pocket as subtly as he could Bilbo tried to think of a good response only for the wizard to speak up.

"Well, what does it matter? He's back!" 

Somehow Bilbo did not like that tone even if it did save him for now...

"It matters! I want to know..." Thorin looked right at Bilbo and the hobbit felt a chill as he expected the interrogation of his life...

"Why did you come back?" 

Oh...

That he could answer very well...

"Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have, And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair. My garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back, 'cause... You don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can...." Bilbo said and saw that everyone looked very happy with his words and even Thorin had lost his stoic expression in favor of a slightly guilty looking one.

Well, that was a change now wasn't it? He knew Thorin was angry a lot, he had a lot of weight on his shoulders, he did not even try to defend himself a lot of the time or soak up the praise he had earned through his own suffering, he showed off the other side to the glorious kings and warriors of his books, the side of what such great battles and sacrifice could do to someone, the dwarf was so young when he lost his home,he had spent more years wandering without one then he had spent with it, and for that, Bilbo knew he wanted to help him, he was a stubborn arse at times, that was true, but he had realized, after being almost eaten by a cave dwelling thing, and seeing what just one creature could do to one's blood pressure...

Plus it would be nice to see him smile 

Howling drew everyone's attention 

"Out of the frying pan..."

"And into the fire! Run. RUN!!!!"


	8. Chapter 8

"Out of the frying pan..."

"And into the fire! Run. RUN!!!!"

Wargs howled and burst across the clearing despite their heavy riders ready to make a meal or toy out of the company, it was like an image from hell, a bunch of hairy, slobbering beasts with demonic riders on their backs, ready to rip the flesh off of anyone they came across.

"Go!!!" Thorin shouted trying to make everyone go faster 

As if they all needed the encouragement! 

Bilbo was terrified as a warg leaped over a rock that he was trying to use as a barrier between them and landed directly in front of the hobbit and the Shireling could barely get the dagger up before the warg lunged and ended up impaling itself on the end of the sword.

H-he killed something...

All he could do was stare at the dead warg at his feet, sword inbedded in its head, his first kill and he wished he could take it back! That was horrifying! But there was no time to think further on the issue as screams erupted all around him as other wargs ran about trying to grab at the dwarves legs and Thorin managed to strike at one sending it to the floor like it's pack member.

Everyone ran till they found out there was nowhere to run to, as they were on a high ledge.

"Up into the trees!!" Gandalf commanded and everyone quickly got to doing as ordered "Come on all of you! Bilbo climb!!!" 

Bilbo went to free Sting so he could follow the order but found his sword was stuck and tried to do his best to free it just as Bofur used Dwalin's head to give himself a leg up onto a branch not that the warrior seemed to feel it much and Kili got Fili into one.

Curse his luck again! 

"THERE COMING!!!" Thorin screamed as everyone else tried to pick up the pace in their climbing, the wizard already at the top of his chosen tree.

Finally! Got you little bugger! 

Sting came free after no shortage of effort and Bilbo turned around to see no one else was on the ground...and there was a swarm of wargs and orcs coming towards him.

No no no...CLIMB!!!!

Bilbo barely managed to jump and grab onto one of the branches before a warg zoomed past with its jaws snapping mear inches from his foot.

THAT was a close one!!!

Wargs ran all around the trees like ants at a picnic, just waiting for one of them to fall off or to lunge up and grab someone and then an orc rode up on top of a white warg, he was pale and had a metal rod sticking straight through his stump of an arm and then he heard Thorin say his name...

"Azog..."

No...he was supposed to be dead!

Words started to come out of the orcs mouth, words Bilbo did not and did not want to understand, but Thorin seemed to, as he looked angrier than ever before it fell.

"It can not be.." Thorin croaked, feeling tears build up in his throat he had not avenged his grandfather and father...he had failed them, he had not earned his title of Oakenshield...the pale orc still lived!!

Azog pointed his staff right at Thorin and called out an order and even more riders went forward and now started trying to climb the trees to get at their prey.

Tree branches fell from their home like twigs as wargs chomped into them and fell to the ground and the trees even started to topple from the mounts smashing into the trunks till they started to fall like dominos forcing everyone to jump from tree to tree like monkeys till everyone was hanging perilously from a single tree at the very end of the cliff.

Gandalf thankfully gathered enough of his wits about him to grab a pinecone and using some of his fire magic lit it and threw it setting the ground alight with flames.

More flaming pinecones were tossed down to random members of the company and soon the entire ground was flickering and it thankfully kept the monsters back from their safe spot and sent several of them scampering away in fear.

Cheering erupted as almost everyone relished in the small victory 

The glee was short-lived though as a loud cracking was heard the tree that now had the weight of thirteen dwarves, a hobbit and a tall wizard on its branches did what the others did and toppled over only being held to the cliff by thick roots for which everyone was thankful for that small mercy.

Mercy did not last long

Ori could not keep his grip on the branch he was hanging onto and fearfully grabbed hold of Dori's boot as he fell down and both ended up sliding and would have fallen to their deaths if not for Gandalf quickly holding out his staff for Dori to cling to, and even then, the poor dwarf would only be able to hold on for so long no matter how strong he was...

Bilbo wanted to help but he too was clinging to a branch and did not want to risk falling himself, so he prayed.

Please whatever magic he had please work!!! Please let him figure out how to use it! He wanted them all off of this tree and on the sturdy ground!! 

Wait.

What was Thorin DOING?!

Thorin glared at Azog like he wanted the orc to fall over dead from the look alone, but knew full well that would not happen and the hobbit watched in horror as the dwarf stood up, sword and shield raised, running through the flames that licked at him and obviously intending to fight the monster one on one.

No..please don't do it Thorin...revenge was not worth dying over!

All everyone could do was watch as Azog grinned like the devil he was and watched as the would-be king ran at him, sword ready to slash and the pale orc opened his arms as if welcoming him, before letting out a battle cry, making his warg leap up which ended up knocking the dwarf onto his back with its front paws.

It can't be over that quickly! Thorin can't die like this, on his back! 

Thorin... he is getting up..please..just run...get away....

But before the dwarf could do anything else, Azog slammed his giant metal contraption into the king's chest with a roar, sending Thorin flying into the ground with a shout of pain, making poor Balin cry out in fear and sadness for his king and friend.

It won't end like this! He won't let it! 

Bilbo got to his feet, fear being bitten back by a surge of something he could not explain in his heart and raced across the tree, ignoring as flames licked at his own feet, he had to help...get to Thorin...get to him now!

Save him! 

Thorin cried out in pain as the white warg picked him up in its jaws and bit down much like how a cat would a helpless mouse, crunching of ribs being broken sounding out and Dwalin tried to get to his brother in arms himself but the branch he was trying to lift himself up with cracked and broke, only being held to the trunk by a thin sheet of wood and swung around trying to keep his grip which was quickly failing.

The dwarf in the wargs jaws gained enough wits to slam his sword into the muzzle of the beast and was once more sent flying for it and now once more laying on his back, now unable to move, was his spine broken now? He had to get to his sword...his arms...so heavy all of a sudden...what did that filth say? His lackey was coming towards him...

No ...not going..to ..die..like ..this...

The side orc raised its weapon, ready to take the dwarfs head with one blow when Bilbo let out an admittedly pitiful war cry of his own as he slammed his whole body weight into the would-be executioner and used all the strength he could muster to push the orc off when it tried pinning him and to impale its body with his own weapon.

Bilbo removed his dagger from the corpse and swung it around much like how a woman might a broom to scare a mouse, but these were not mice.

Azog gave a command in his foul speech and more orcs appeared at his side, but before they could allow their wargs to use the Shireling as a chew toy, several other war cries shouted out and several of the company ran into view to attack the riders and Bilbo gained enough courage back to launch an attack of his own but ended up being thrown onto his bottom by Azog himself after coming face to face with his warg.

Oh, no...now he really was going to...

Was that a bird?

Whistle like tunes filled the air as giant eagles flew over to the cliffside and smashed into wargs and orcs alike, pitching many of them over the cliffs, one even tipping over a flaming tree to dispose of a warg and its rider and others using their massive wings to fan the flames across like a sheet of death

What was that one..doing...Thorin was not food!! 

But all the eagle did was gently scoop the dwarven king up, as if it knew it was carrying wounded and took off back into the skies before another flew in and came towards Bilbo

He did not want to be next!! 

Seems his fear was well-founded as it seemed as soon as he was in that bird's talons he was dropped like a hot potato onto another's back! And several other members of the company let out cries of fear as eagles swarmed all around them and scooped them off the burning tree and just in time because as soon as everyone was off, the tree finally gave up its fight and fell into the pits below.

Was this good or bad luck? Bilbo would go with good till further notice!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another issue I have is when people ask "why didn't Thorin keep the mithril vest for himself or give it to Fili or Kili? Did you see the SIZE of that vest? it was elf/human-sized, it would not fit a dwarfs bulkier body and even looked a bit small on Bilbo in places (and It's kinda funny how Bilbo is missing his belt in the lead up to that scene but has it in every other spot...could have just been a cheat to get the robe off faster but still...and Thorin looking Bilbo up and down and circling him after he put on the shirt...not very subtle dude) not to mention everyone STARING during that scene...like did we just witness him giving out armor or a bloody ENGAGEMENT RING? 
> 
> and another issue is when people ask "why did Thorin choose to fight Azog and not help everyone up after he got off his branch?" 
> 
> One, the tree already had enough weight on it, if Thorin moved more to the back where Dori and Ori were having issues, he could have risked tipping the tree, Thorin is the tallest dwarf and has a heavy shield/sword on him, plus Gandalf was already on the tree, so he might have thought the wizard could do some magic to prevent the two from falling (well besides letting them cling to his staff/calling the eagles ) plus even if Thorin did not think of any of that, THERE ARE BLOODY WARGS AND ORCS on the sturdy ground! So in a weird way they had more safety on the tree since it was rooted (pun intended ) to the cliffside, so if thorin took the time to try and get everyone off, they still would have to face the monsters on the other side, so Thorin most likely thought "if I take out Azog, the others will run off without their leader to command them and everyone can get to safety afterward" because my big fear would be orcs running up and using whatever weapons they had and their wargs to either chop through the roots or push them out the rest of the way if the fire itself did not eat through them first, end the threat and then get everyone off
> 
> not to mention I think it might be interesting to throw in some scenes that could have been in the hobbit before the studio fucked with it ( scenes here   
> https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/WhatCouldHaveBeen/TheHobbit )
> 
> And I know I keep calling Sting..well...Sting...but that is what we know it as so even though this is before he names his dagger, Sting is still going to be called Sting


	9. Chapter 9

They flew till the sun started to rise into the sky and normally Bilbo might have enjoyed the view, once he had calmed down of course after being scooped up, the mountains really did give a majestic air and the cool air was soothing to everyone's skin after being on a burning tree.

But no one could relax 

Thorin laid in the eagles talons as limp as a ragdoll, no movement except the swaying of his arm from the wind even Fili screaming his name did nothing to rouse him from...

Oh please don't let him actually be dead!

Those eagles might take it as a reason to eat him! Bilbo knew he most likely was overreacting but it was a valid fear, they were giant birds after all and made all of them look like simple mice ready for snatching.

They are flown till they reach a high peak and everyone is gently settled down to the ground

The sweet solid earth!

Gandalf rushed over to Thorin calling to him a couple of times obviously hoping he would answer, but upon getting none the wizard put his hand over the dwarf's face and mumbled some words in a language no one there understood and like the magic it was, Thorin gasped and his eyes cracked open wearily as he looked around as if trying to register everything that had happened.

His body felt so sore...

Suppose that was no surprise...a warg did use him as a chew toy...but then the hobbit...

Mr.Baggins! 

He had jumped onto that orc that was going to take his head...was he...

"H-halfling..." 

Was that croak his own voice? 

Gandalf gave a grandfatherly smile that Thorin was not sure whether to find comforting or condescending, but that could wait till he was sure all of his company made it out and could not stop the surge of worry and anger that started to shoot through his veins at the thought someone could be hurt because of him.

"It's alright...Bilbo is here, he's quite safe!" Gandalf said and backed off to allow Thorin room to get to his feet with the help of a couple of the others.

Whew...that was clo-

"You! What where you doing?!" Thorin was glad to see the hobbit was in one piece, yes, but that did not mean he was not upset "You nearly got yourself killed!" He would make sure this halfling would know to never scare him like that ever again! Yes, he was grateful, but that did not mean he wanted a habit made out of this! 

Oh, there are the doe eyes..no! Focus Thorin! He can be guilty for a minute... "Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild? That you had no place amongst us?" he did not like scolding someone who was grown, but it was necessary...

Thorin got close and was glad to note that Bilbo did not back away from him, but he did look properly reprimanded, so now he could show his gratitude...

"I have never been so wrong in all my life!" He closed the gap between them and hugged the halfling close and felt as a rush of breath was released in relief from both of them and tried to ignore the cheering from behind him, let them have their fun... "I am sorry I doubted you.." Thorin said as he gave one more quick glance over Bilbo's body to make sure there was indeed no injury and was glad to see he was indeed fine.

"No, I would have doubted me to..." Bilbo admitted, "I'm not hero...or a warrior...not even a burglar.." Bilbo side glanced at the others earning a few mild chuckles from the group and a rush of wings sounded around them as the eagles squawked and flew off.

When did those get here? 

Where were th-oh..

"Is that what I think it is?" he heard Bilbo ask

Thorin did not answer but smiled wider as he approached the edge to get a closer look and could almost feel the majesty that was radiating off of the object in the horizon...home...

"Erebor!" Gandalf exclaimed smiling like a cat himself "The lonely mountain..the last of the great dwarf kingdoms of middle earth.." 

Thorin finally found his voice again and could only mutter two words "Our home.." yes, it felt so good to say that...

"A raven!" Oin shouted, "the birds are returning to the mountain!" 

"That my dear Oin is a thrush..." Gandalf corrected good-naturedly 

"We'll take it as a sign...a good omen..." Thorin said smiling at Bilbo who grinned back

"You're right...I do believe the worst is behind us.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh are we getting some hinty hints? or am I just playing? 
> 
> anyway I'm sorry it's so short ...but hopefully some more original content will help get my butt in gear
> 
> I do want them to meet Beorn and go into details on that..and with the Mirkwood elves ..but after that, I might take some liberties...since this IS supposed to be a story about luck-based magic and it has hardly been in this fic at all since I do need to follow canon till a certain point...no spoilers sorry...
> 
> but yeah...had no real motivation for this story and I'm just trying to find something to give me some inspiration ...


	10. Chapter 10

Oh, he hated the wizard right now...

Wargs howled as their riders forced them to keep looking for the company and Bilbo was praying that he would not be seen as he peeked over a large stone to see exactly where the riders were and quickly hid his head when the pale orc looked over but thankfully gave no alert that he had been seen so the Shirling looked up again and upon hearing a none-warg growl looked over another rock what he ended up seeing was a frighteningly large black bear coming over the hills and sniffing the air.

Oh, that was not good!

He had to tell the others fast!

Bilbo climbed down and was thankful he did not slip as the terrain was proving to be against him as of late but the hobbit made it down in one piece hearing an ear-splitting roar behind him and quickly tried to get to explaining what he saw to the awaiting company.

"How close is the pack?" Thorin questioned walking forward with Dwalin

"Too close! A couple of leagues no more! But that's not the worst of it..." Bilbo started only to be interrupted

"Did the wargs pick up our scent?" Dwalin asked as they wandered over to the others

"Not yet but they will...and we have another problem.." 

"Did they see you!? they saw you!" Gandalf started 

"No no that's not it..." Bilbo tried to explain again only to be spoken over by the wizard who was smiling despite the atmosphere.

"What did I tell you? Quiet as a mouse! Excellent Burglar Material!" Gandalf exclaimed as the dwarves nodded along smiling as well.

Well if the wizard was done congratulating himself...

"Will you just Listen!! I'm trying to tell you there is something else out there!" Bilbo finally got out and pointed in the direction of where he saw the other beast and could not help but feel slightly bad as he saw everyone visibly deflate, but he could worry about that later and the look Gandalf was giving was making him uncomfortable..

"What form did it take? Like a bear?" 

"Y-ye-yes ...but..bigger! much bigger!" 

"You knew about this beast?!" Bofur questioned and the wizard just turned away to think ignoring the hatted dwarf.

"I say we double back!" 

"And be run down by a pack of Orcs?"

"There is a house...it's not far from here..where ..we might take refuge," Gandalf said walking back over 

"Whose house?" Thorin questioned obviously not trusting the wizard a whole lot at that moment, not that Bilbo could blame him considering that the wizard seemed to hold a lot of information that could be useful to them till the last moment "Are they friend or foe?"

"Neither...he will help us...or he will KILL us..." 

"What choice do we have?" 

**"RROAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"**

"None..." 

Well, that is just great! Was his bad luck wearing off on everyone else?!

Hey! wait for the hobbit!

Everyone ran as fast as their legs would allow, going through water, ignoring how it ran into their boots and just made them heavier thankful when they finally got to a clearing that allowed a straightforward path to a building in the distance and not too soon as they could hear many footsteps in the distance.

The wargs must have caught their scent! 

"Run!!!" Gandalf shouted as if they needed the encouragement!

Another roar, this time obviously from the great bear rang through the trees and the many footsteps stopped from behind as if the creature forced them all to and the whole company also stopped in their tracks frightened by the demonic sound.

"This way quickly!" 

Ok, it came in handy this time!

Poor Bombur stood petrified till Thorin grabbed hold of his looped beard to force him to run with the rest of them

"The house!" 

Run run run!!!!

Wait...how was Bombur going so fast!? 

Everyone ran passed the gate and Bombur ended up smashing into the front door where everyone franticly tried to open it screaming in fear as the monster bear burst from the trees and ran straight for them teeth-gnashing and roaring as loud as its lungs would allow 

Thorin shouted and ran through the group so he could open the latch and not a moment too soon as everyone ran inside the bear descended upon them just as the last member made it in and pushed against the door as everyone but Gandalf and Bilbo who unsheathed Sting to try and ready himself to stab if nessasarry, tried to force it closed which they thankfully did and it was locked barring the beast out.

"W-what is that?" Ori asked breathlessly turning towards the wizard 

"That is our host.," Gandalf answered 

What!?

"His name is Beorn...And he's a skin-changer, sometimes he's a huge black bear, and sometimes he's a great strong man, the bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with...however he is not over fond of dwarves..." 

"He's leaving..." Ori mentioned looking through a crack in the door and was quickly pulled away by Dori 

"Come away from there! It's not natural! None of it!" Dori said glaring "It's obvious...He's under some dark spell!"

"Don't be a fool! he's under no enchantment but his own...alright now...get some sleep, all of you..." 

Like anyone could sleep now! 

...

Obviously, they CAN...

And they snore...

Bilbo did his best to try and get comfortable and well the straw under him was proving to be a decent bed, most certainly better than cold stone or dirt, the snores he was sure he would never get used to..

Wait...what was Thorin up to?

Thorin took off Orcrist and propped it upright near Bilbo's head and paused for a moment before settling down to sit next to the hobbit, being careful not to jostle any of the others sleeping around them and seemingly trying to be careful not to wake the hobbit who he thought was also in dreamland.

Bilbo did not move

The dwarf king sighed, he sounded so tired, but not from the day's adventures

"I can not offer anyone anything...I can't keep my nephews safe or give them special treatment, it's not fair, now even with this...going forward ...I can't do what I wish to, say what I wish to you...but for now...this will be enough...till our future is assured.." Thorin whispered to himself before settling down fully to sleep.

What was going on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added a little scene because if you notice in the Beorn's house scene that Orcrist is behind where Bilbo is laying along with a pretty big bare spot next to him...why would he set his precious sword there unless he had been there recently? (plus not writing anything original was driving me CRAZY!!!) 
> 
> and it is also annoying how a lot of people will say Thorin is apathetic to the rest of the company when he not only yanks on Bomburs beard to force him to keep running (when he could have just as easily saved his own ass by going on and leaving a fat snack for the wargs/Beorn ) and this also means Thorin was directly putting himself last to make sure the others went passed HIM not the other way around to make sure they all made it (he is one of the taller dwarves meaning he could more than likely run faster if he wished because if you notice Thorin appears LAST in the line even coming in behind the elderly Oin and Balin ) 
> 
> and he also yanked Ori back when he was going to go forward during the chase scene with Radagast to keep him from getting caught 
> 
> and even during the river scene, yes it's not very "romantic" for him to make Bilbo go first, but Bilbo IS the lightest and with the largest feet meaning he would have a better chance of getting across (and Thorin himself was right behind him since he was right next to him a moment later ) meaning Thorin risked his own life just after he sent Bilbo over (and Bilbo would have been the easiest to pull out of the water and perhaps Thorin followed after him just in case (perhaps when Bilbo had his little accident when he almost fell in and was heading over to help )


	11. Chapter 11

What do you guys think about me uploading WIP first chapters of sorts for all of my new ideas for after this and "Flames of betrayal" are over? Sort of to give you all a taste of what is to come and let you all vote on what you like best and allow you to offer ideas/critique on them?


	12. Chapter 12

Did Thorin really...

He did know dwarves had soul mates, but he had only heard of dwarves with other members of their own species, the most radical thing they did was marry outside their own clans, but even then that was not frowned upon since they knew that it was pointless to argue against it, a soulmate was a soulmate, though he knew dwarves often chose not to marry at all and they were small in number, but that might have something to do with the fact they often had to travel, or at least the Erebor dwarves did and had other things on their minds, though that did not explain all dwarves.

He had forgotten if it was a fertility issue or just the fact is that dwarves adored their crafts and simply did not want to stop to settle down or a mix of both...

perhaps re-reading his historical books was in order when he got home...if he ever did...

Was his destined really a dwarf? 

Bilbo supposed Thorin was alright, a bit rude, but perhaps that was just a front since he could not show favoritism to anyone, not even his own blood, since it could risk too much, he was very protective though and often pulled others out of bad situations, and he was handsome..

Did he really just think that?! Bad hobbit! 

The Shireling fought to keep from moving or going scarlet as the reason for his issues was laying only a few inches from him, he could only hope those large, rounded ears of his could not pick up on Bilbo's now racing heart, Kili had brought up that he and his uncle were not considered attractive by dwarven standards since his uncle and himself both had smaller noses, skinnier (for dwarves) frames and kept their beards trimmed short, for mourning in Thorins case and to prevent any incidents with his bow in Kili's.

Perhaps when he got a chance he could inform Thorin more about his culture, on the fact that hobbits could not grow beards, the best they could do were sideburns if they chose and that hobbit girls are the only ones who grow their hair long, and even then it was only a little past shoulder-length at most to prevent accidents during gardening or caring for little ones, or just personal preference since hobbits had very curly hair that was a monster to try and tame if it got too long unless they had the habit of indulging in expensive baubles and oils to control it which most did not, since it was seen as a waste that could be spent on food or other enjoyments rather then risk becoming gossip of the week by spending hours inside tending to their hair.

He had no doubts a lot of gossips would be going around about him once he got home, but if he was going to be gossip, he might as well bring some intriguing stories along with it.

Perhaps the fauntlings would get a kick out of it, they usually were more open-minded and loved hearing tales, he knew he did when he was small (and thwacking people in the bottom to try and get them to play ...) 

Wonder if Thorin had any childhood stories to tell? He bet he was just as naughty as his nephews if not more so! 

They did have a lot to discuss when they had the chance...Thorin was showing interest in him...but he was going to be a king, was that even allowed? If they were soulmates it was not a whole lot that could be done about it...then there was the fact of figuring out-

woah woah..he had a lot more to worry about then his relationship with Thorin! Like not getting killed by a fire breathing dragon! 

Not to mention the rest of the way to the fire breathing dragon...

Ok...think

After this whole mess was over, if he still had the flesh on his bones, he would ask Thorin about this night, they would be busy but he could somehow find a way to get him alone, perhaps even Fili and Kili would help him if he explained it to them...

If they did not go blabbing to everyone else before he could ....

He could think of something, he just had to do a small inspection, then afterward, if the dragon was dead, help do some cleaning duty, if he could find a quiet spot...what if Thorin got mad for not telling him earlier? Should he just confront him now? He already had a lot to deal with...perhaps he should relieve him of one? 

perhaps...he should...think about it...toma-so tired...

Before the Shireling knew it warm sunlight was glaring through his eyelids and something fuzzy and buzzing was very near his nose and upon opening his eyes saw a HUGE bumblebee staring right into his face using his nose as a butt rest.

Woah!

Bilbo quickly moved away from the buzzing creature and finally registered it was morning getting to his feet to search for the others who seemed to have awoken a while ago and saw they all had grouped together by the backdoor were a loud thumping noise was coming from outside.

"oh Bilbo, there you are.." Gandalf said 

That could not mean good news for him....

"Now..this will require, some delicate handling...we must tread very carefully, the last person to have startled him....was torn to shreds...I will go first...er...Bilbo, you come with me..."

Say what?!

And Thorin is just NODDING at him to go!? There would be WORDS later for that!

"I-is this really a good idea?" 

He was going to let one of those cows chew on the wizard's hat! And if he is not satisfied let one pee on it...

Well...

Beorn was much more of a delight then Gandalf made him sound(and his nervous actions walking up to the bear-man ) once you got passed his paranoia around others, but after hearing about his people no one could really blame him for not trusting strangers.

And he was right that dwarves had a certain...way, that could be very annoying if you were not used to it, or getting used to it and learning what was beyond the normal fare.

Not to mention it was hilarious watching Beorn pour milk into Fili's too-big mug and have the prince examine it like he was trying to figure out how to even start with it.

But the important thing was

He was going to help them all get where they needed to


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry about no update yet...been dealing with a bit of nonsense on deviant art...

But this might be a good chance to get sone of your thoughts on what you guys want with this story going forward.. 

Should Thorin and Bilbo even get together officially here? Or should it end with them choosing to see where things go? 

Or should I go balls to the wall and have Thorin knock him up soon? 

What do you want to see?


	14. Chapter 14

Just perfect!!

Gandalf just had to abandon them once again! He was not going to be happy if he was used as a handkerchief again! 

Oh, he did not feel good...

Bilbo he knew plants, he might not be a gardener, but he loved flowers, the forest felt wrong, like darkness had seeped into every crevice and his pocket suddenly felt very heavy all of a sudden, as did his heart. 

Ever since they had stepped into the Mirkwood, even before, he had felt it's crushing sickness...then that horrible flaming eye...what had that thing been? It made him want to shove the ring on his finger to hide, but he was around his friends...and whatever Thorin was turning out to be...why would he need to use it? 

The ring seemed to almost...want to be used, but that was silly! A ring did not have a mind of it's own, magic or not! 

Though it

Was concerning that he had been unable to tell Gandalf two times of what he had found in the tunnels, he wanted to he really did...but his stomach twisted at the idea of possibly having to part with it, it could be so useful going forward....no, he would tell him once this was all over, that is what he would do, then if Gandalf wanted it, he could...err...they could talk about it.

Oh a bridge...

A BROKEN bridge...

They had to get out...had to get out...

Thorin hated feeling so lightheaded, was this how his grandfather felt when he was sick? Now he had an even bigger reason to pity him...he wanted to throw up...then fall asleep...no! wake up! Grrr, of course, elves would choose to live in such a cursed place!

"Did you not hear what Gandalf said? an enchantment is upon it!" Thorin scolded when he heard Bofur suggest swimming across the broken bridge 

"Does not look very enchanting to me..." Bofur mumbled and the others would have laughed if the situation was not so dire.

"these vines look strong enough!" Kili noted and grabbed one ready to make his way across but the shout of his name from Thorin stopped him.

"Kili! We send the lightest first..." Thorin said knowing full well who that was, but also realizing it would be easier to pull Bilbo to safety.

Bilbo realized he was being stared at 

Oh bother! 

Not you too Bofur! And Thorin was getting an earful later too!

Oh this was not pleasent....now he just felt sicker to his stomach!

The vines under his feet shook, not too violently, but enough to make his legs feel like they had been de-boned and then filled with jam from pure nerves.

"It's alright..." Bilbo mumbled to himself trying to more or less convince himself than anyone else "Can't see any proble-AH! heres one..." he deadpanned when a small slip made him have to act fast and wrap his legs around the vine before he became very soaked indeed.

_Tired....sleep....want to ...sleep....sleeeeeeeeeeep....sleeeep.....rest......._

Bilbo! 

Thorin quickly started his own trek across the vines hoping he made it to the hobbit in time to keep him from falling in, he looked out of it and was not even trying at the moment to pull himself back up and did not even notice when the others took that as the cue to pile on themselves.

Oh, he is snapping out of it, good...

Bilbo lunged and somehow made it to solid land and panted for a proper breath shaking his head and even found himself shaking a finger at some unknown annoyance.

"Something...is not right....not right at all!!! Stay where you are-oh..." another deadpan as he saw all the dwarves at once crawling on the vines like children trying to make it across.

_tired...tired...sleeep...sleeeeeeeep_

No no no!!! snap out of it!!! 

Bilbo tried to smack himself and twitch his nose to keep his mind awake but nothing else came to mind to help 

Oh no....Bombur...

When did Thorin get across? 

ohhh...how pretty....a white stag....it was almost...glowing....huh?

"What... are.. you.. doing?"

Thorin pulled back his bow, a surge of rage filled his body at the sight of the beautiful creature, it was too clean, too bright, it was not natural to this cursed place, it looked like something a tree shagger would own, keeping it pristine as their home fell into ruin for some sense of cleanliness, to try and feel superior....

Curse it all!!! he missed! damn this forest.....

"You shouldn't have done that...It's bad luck!"

"I don't believe in LUCK! We make our own LUCK..."

Bombur fell in....

No one knew how but they somehow found themselves carting around the still unconscious Bombur on an icky-forest-made stretcher, there legs feeling exhausted, how long had they been walking? They needed....food...hungry....rest...bed...

"We need a rest..!" someone called 

Thorin felt as though his legs gave out and he somehow managed to lean into a tree or was it just a vine? He didn't know...

_hisssss...hissss...._

_sleep.._

_sleeeeeeeeeeep...._

"voiiicesss...can..you heaaar them?" Bilbo slurred as hissing filled his ears 

"I hear nothing....no wind...no birdddsoog...what hour...what hour is it!? I do not knooow..."

"We do .not even. know what day. it is...." 

"This is taking oblong...too ...long...is there no end to this accursed forest?!" Thorin shouted at no one, why would he yell at his company? why ...why what? 

"Only trees and more treees!" 

"THEEEr...ee....this way!" Thorin found his strength and wandered where he saw an opening, this must be the way!! 

"But Gandalf saaaid..."

"Do as I say! follow me!" the trail....was...useless....he needed...to get them...out...

Such pretty webbing....poke...poke.....

_aTTERCOP...AtErCoP.....ATTerCOP....._

huuuuh?

"W-wait!!! wait!!! stop! we can't ..leave the paaath...! we must STAY on the path!!"

NO...this cAnt...need..to sit _down...._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it seems I'm bouncing around a lot...but we all already know the story so I don't want to retread too much old ground and bore everyone 
> 
> oi I hate Eclipse mode in DA...hope they see that it's not going to end well..
> 
> some people want to know "what is so bad" about Eclipse? here is some
> 
> No option to click through pages, you HAVE to scroll through your favorites/gallery/front page, so if your looking for something in particular that's older in there you have to scroll till you reach it (my settings are set to flat mode/click through but it is still doing it in threat mode and scroll mode despite that )
> 
> Can't put comments in journals/comments in flat mode, it is just in thread mode which means you can't read old RP's without clicking for a new thread every 10 or so comments 
> 
> You can't edit your large profile picture (Smaug is mine right now if you can see) so you have no option to move it or make it smaller unless you do it before hand in a photo editor 
> 
> your options to edit your profile are hidden unless you move your mouse across them to see the buttons or are at the bottom of your profile above the comment section 
> 
> you can't select more then one picture so mass delete in messages is not possible, you have to delete them one by one 
> 
> Chatroom seems to have been deleted 
> 
> help center is now at the bottom of the page instead of easily accessible at the top same with other functions


	15. Chapter 15

Air...air...he ...needed....to climb! He needed to breathe! Air!!

Bilbo grabbed hold of some vines and hauled himself up, his lungs felt ready to burst from the suffocating aura the forest was giving off, it felt oppressive, not good at all, everything about it was wrong, shouting came from all around him from the dwarves, something about a tobacco pouch....

_Atercop....hissss hisssssss...._

_shut up..._

_shut up..._

The sun....

More arguing from below

_SHut...Up...._

_Breath...air..._

we have to find the sun.... 

Breaking the line of the trees, the fresh, cool air hit the hobbit's face and it was like the squishing sensation was lifted and he could finally get some clean air into his lungs, blue butterflies flew all around and the tops of the trees almost glowed from the suns power.

water..

"I-i can see a lake! and...a river! and the lonely mountain!! we are almost there!" This mess was almost over with! 

"Can you hear me?!I know which way to go!"  
\------  
"Hello?"

only the crackling of branches was heard below 

Did they actually fall asleep? 

"Hello...." Bilbo said again more to himself than anything feeling a sense of dread start to creep in crushing the hope that had just begun to surface and slowly lowered his head under the trees again, thankful to have gotten some clean air so he could at least think properly again.

No one was around

Bilbo felt something sticky on his foot and tried in vain to free it and all his struggles did was make him topple over

"Oh come on!!!" 

The Shireling fell several feet hitting branches on the way down yelping in pain and fear before managing to finally grab one and stopping his descent.

Whew...now maybe he can...what is THAT?

The webbing shifted and moved before parting to expose the biggest spider Bilbo had ever seen in his life and all he could do was stare in shock at it before it opened its gigantic maw and roared making him let go, but all that did was land him in a giant web where he was completely stuck.

Oh nonononnonono.....

The spider scuttled down the tree lunging at the hobbit to make quick work of wrapping him in the webbing, the force of it all knocking him out.

draggg...dragg...

urhg....his back...he was...being dragged?!

Bilbo cracked his eyes open and saw several wriggling masses above him, no doubt the dwarves, he was also wrapped up in webbing, the spider that was dragging him seemed to deside it was hungry because it started to loom over before baring its teeth again

Sword sword use your sword!!

With all the strength he could muster the Shireling forced the dagger through the webs and struck the spider in the chest and it curled up as it died before falling into the abyss.

Get it off get it offf!!!!

Bilbo rapidly started tearing at the webbing, it was sticky, and smelled awful, like those things Men wore over their feet when they had not been properly washed.

More spiders started to swirl around, no doubt alerted one of their own was missing now and Bilbo rushed to get behind a tree to hid, he needed to get the others and himself out of here...

_The ring...._

_The ring...._

_Usssee the ring...._

More scuttling was heard 

_He needed to use it...._

The world went grey 

_Killll them! Killllll them.....blood is running..._

_Hide is tough...but is goooood juiiiiceee inside...._

Bombur woke up and cried out in fear trying to defend himself against becoming a spiders next meal

_meats alive and kicking!!! kill him now! let us feast_

_feast_

_feast!!_

_FEAST!!!_

More spiders swarmed around the struggling dwarf ready to pierce him with their fangs and chuckling at his pitiful cries of fear.

He could not fight all of them....

Bilbo picked up a stick and threw it away where it made a loud sound against a tree forcing the other spiders to go search, perhaps thinking they could grab even more helpless victims to suck dry.

_what is it!? what is it!?_

They scuttled away thankfully not brushing up against the hobbit on their way 

_Fat and juicy...._

One was still trying to eat Bombur! No you do not!

_Just a little tasssttteee...._

Bilbo brought the dagger down trying to stab through the organ filled part of the spider but it just seemed to slide off and the spider flipped around trying to find the invisible hobbit who just kept on striking with the dubbed letter opener hoping one would hit home but he knew he would need to work harder.

Or...

That sounded sort of fun....

_Where is it!? where is it!? where is IT?!_

Do you want to know?! Alright then....

He pulled off the ring, feeling a surge of confidence and a grin spread across his face, he never felt this before...it felt good....to mock this beast....

"Here..." 

The spider lunged and the sword was quickly dug into its head from the force of its own body 

_stings!!! STINGS!!!!_

hmmm... 

"Sting...That's a good name...Sting!" He liked that...Sting ...spiders bane! Perhaps he would even engrave it with that later... 

"Sting..." 

It was time to put Sting to good use! 


	16. Chapter 16

Bilbo got to work slashing at the webbing and the dwarves fell thankfully slowly to the ground with the help of the many webs cushioning them on the way down and many cries of surprise and even happiness rang out as they freed themselves from the sticky mess they had been wrapped in and Bofur somehow managed to gain enough of his sense back to look around to see who was missing from their company.

"Bilbo! Where is Bilbo!?" 

The hobbit could not help but feel amused and touched that even covered in spider webbing Bofur was still concerned for him and looking out which made the others start to shout for him too when they also did not see Bilbo in eyeshot.

"I'm up here!" he began before crying out in shock as a spider lunged up from under the branch giving Bilbo barely enough time to raise Sting but thankfully he managed and the monster ended up just impaling itself on the blade, but its curling limbs enveloped the Shireling and sent them both plummeting towards the ground and the ring also ended up falling away from him.

The hobbit quickly got to his feet, the spider having taken the brunt of the fall and got to work looking for the ring, he needed it! 

Oh...there it is...good..it was not truly lost...

But just as he took a few steps towards it, a centipede...spider...thing...emerged from the ground and made its way towards him making him raise Sting ready to defend himself as it approached...and stepped on the ring.

clink...clink....

GRRR!!! 

Swinging the sword like he was wielding an ax chopping wood, Bilbo brought the blade down again

again

again...

Parts of the creature flew everywhere as rage boiled inside the hobbits blood till he lifted Sting up and smashed it down into the centipede's skull and it finally went limp and Bilbo's eyes caught the ring once more from besides the corpse and picked it up feeling himself grin and hold up his prize showing it off.

 _**"MInE..."**_

He could not afford to lose it..it was too prec-huh?

What...had-had he DONE? 

Bilbo covered his mouth with his free hand to avoid throwing up as he felt his stomach swirl as his mind came back to him, staring at the ring in his other, it, it made him do it...

What was this...thing? He had to get rid of it! He needed to throw it awa-what was that noise?

Oh no wood elves had captured them he needed...but if he walked out he might be captured too....he would ...need to....

Just one more time...just once...

\----

Bilbo was appalled by the supposed 'kings' manners!

Both of them! 

Thranduil had nothing on Elrond, at least the lord was polite and offered food! And Thorin really should have known better! At the very least they would have let the company go! If Thorin wanted to be bitter he could have said he would give the gems back since he did not want anything of Elvish design anyway, or whatever reasons for not accepting help but still offering enough good grace to be shown the way out! 

Perhaps he should ask Ori if he had a spare notebook he could borrow since he was going to need to write down all the things he was going to confront Thorin about when he had time!

But for now he had to find...

A library...

so many BOOKS...no! focus Bilbo! you have to find a way to get your friends ...and whatever Thorin was turning out to be, out of the dungeons! You only have a few more days!

Though a little peek might not hurt...it was like they were calling to him...and perhaps the others did need to simmer down a little bit, have a little pouting fest so they would listen a bit better later, hopefully.

Books, old and new lined the walls from across and all the way to the ceiling, the smell of ink and warm tea, it was almost like he was back home if not for the hint of something that Bilbo could not put his finger on, but that did not matter, books! Lovely books! He had not had much of a chance to look through Elrond's massive library, but if this was just a mear taste of what was in there he was definitely going to be paying them another visit and perhaps bring some snacks he thought the elves might enjoy.

History, language, medical, journals and more lined the shelves, not a speck of dust on them despite the fact that many of them did not even look like they had been opened once, what a huge shame....

Oh? What was this? History on other races? or was that a slur there? 

He was not very fluent in Sindarin curses....nor did he feel the need to be

Bilbo slowly took the book from its spot, it's weight heavy in his hands, it was thick as a dwarfs arm and about as long as Bilbo's which made carrying it over to a more secluded area a bit of a challenge, but the possibilities of what he could find in it was giving him strength and the spot he found was rather comfortable once he knicked a pillow off a nearby chaise to sit on, slipping off the ring Bilbo was both glad and a bit sad he did so but the knowledge sitting on his lap made the feeling go away rather quickly.

Oh good there is an index!

1# Elves: 1 - 132 

Of course, they would put themselves at number one...

Dwarves/Dwarrow: 133 - 200 

There was a lot on dwarves ...he might need to borrow this book a bit later if he was able to...could come in handy even if it turned out to be a bunch of nonsense, most myths and legends had some base in truth after all.

Halflings: 201 - 210 

There was not a lot on his species at a-

What!? 

Turning quickly to the page Bilbo saw it was indeed, facts and a bit of history on hobbits!

**'Very little is known about this elusive species, they, like our allies the dwarves choose to keep to themselves most of the time and are known for being in one spot one moment and then disappearing seemingly into thin air, sometimes taking valuables with them from random passers-by."**

Ancient hobbits were known for thieving?! 

**'They are thought to be the children of Yavanna, though no records of this exists and the only known race created by her or for her known to historians are the Ents and leads us to believe that if this is fact they might have been made to be similar to her husband's race of dwarves though no known link has been proven'**

Some hobbits did worship Yavanna, but that was more or less because they looked to her for a good harvest,goddess of creation and all that...not because they thought she made them...

**'They also seem to possess luck-based magic'**

Oh here we go! 

**'This magic seems to help them avoid dangerous situations and avoid being caught by those they choose to relieve of possessions, but it also seems to be at a cost as using too much of it will cause misfortune to befall them, either from finally being caught and punished or ending up hurt and in some cases, channeled their energy to another to heal them and dying a short time later'**

Dying....

Energy transfer? 

So that explained....He needed to learn how to use it...and a way to counteract the bad luck...at the moment it had just been random feelings that led him to bad or good things, now he had to learn how to channel it.

And hope none of his friends got themselves hurt too badly....

reading a few more pages Bilbo tucked the book back in its spot, no need for a search to be called because of one book and began to wander around once more slipping the ring back on

Ok ...think....close your eyes and think about finding the dwarves

Dungeons are....

_down...down....down...to the left...._

Voices! 

Seems two of the guard elves planned on getting drunk...good...that worked out well for him, this channeling luck thing seemed to be going well so far...

And the keys! 

The barrels looked promising...that's it!  
\---

Inside the cells the dwarves were feeling even more depressed than before, now they would never see their homes again....Erebor or otherwise....

"We're never going to reach the mountain are we?" Ori wanted to cry,he was so happy with the idea of Nori not having to steal anymore and Dori being able to enjoy nicer things, now they would all rot in a dundon till the end, at least he was in the same cell as Dori...

"Not stuck in here your not..." Bilbo grinned holding up the keys which caused a rather large fuss as he got to work opening the doors 

Everyone raced out of the cages and got to going towards one spot

"Down here follow me..." Bilbo whispered leading the way towards the cellars

"I don't believe this we are in the cellars!"

"You're supposed to be leading us out not further in!" 

"I know what I'm doing!" Bilbo said exasperated already with their nonsense, maybe he should have waited another 20 minutes.... "Everyone climb into the barrels quickly..." 

"Are you MAD? They will find us!" Dwalin said getting into Bilbo's face 

"No, I promise you they won't now please, please, you must trust me" Bilbo wanted to scream but that would do the opposite of help 

Aaaaannnd now they are in their little chatting huddle! 

Thorin help!

"Do as he says!" Thorin somehow managed to growl and whisper at the same time which thankfully got everyone moving 

Removing one thing off the list ...

"Ok what do we do now?"

'Hold your breath..." 

"What do you meaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Alright then, now to get himself...

Oh bother...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I bounced around a bit in this chappie but FINALLY we got some history! 
> 
> And BOTFA is where things are SERIOUSLY going to differ from canon...just warning you


	17. Chapter 17

Well here we go again with the bad luck...he really needed to start carrying around a note pad to record how much stuff he had good and bad luck with so he could know for future endeavors and make sure he got into situations like this at least a bit less than he has been as of late...

"Where is the keeper of the keys?!" came a voice that sounded like the female elf Thranduil gave a talking down to earlier and crushed the hopes of.

Just great! THAT was bound to have put her in an amazing mood! Perhaps he could tell her about the drunken guards calling their king ill-tempered, that could amuse her...or at least keep her from using those knives of hers on his head and feet...

Stupid boards!! Bilbo jumped up and down trying in vain to move them to where he could get out but they were proving to be stubborn to say the least if he had some rope he could perhaps...

oh dear, the voices are getting closer ...

How was he going to-try and your magic...use it ..try to- WOAH!!! Not this way!

"AAAAAHHH!!!!"

SPLASH!

Bilbo coughed as he flailed his arms trying to get his head back above the water and trying to not inhale any water, creator knows what was in it...

Nori reached down and grabbed Bilbo's jacket to help him cling to the barrel he was in, for which the hobbit was grateful for.

"Well done master Baggins!" Thorin complimented having been holding back the rest of the barrels till the hobbit could join them and all Bilbo could offer back was a quick wave of one of his hands to urge them forward since he did not want to risk falling back into the water "come on lets go!" The dwarf called and began to try and move the barrel along by pushing it with his arms, but he did not need to do that for long as the water picked up rather quickly and it became clear they were going to go over a small waterfall

"HOLD ON!!!" 

'Don't be sick don't be sick! And please don't anyone relive themselves into the water!' Bilbo could not help but think to himself as the world spun around and more water crashed into the Shirlings face and entered his mouth and nose making it hard to catch any air.

Did a fish just smack him in the nose?! He would be smelling THAT for a while...

The sound of a horn broke through the swirling of water and yelling, orders in Sindarin where shouted an obvious signal to the armored elves on the bridge and their one door to freedom closed right in Thorin's face after the one soldier pulled a lever, causing the barrels to once again to pile up against each other.

No no no!!! This could not be happening! They were so close...

The elven guards drew their weapons ready to re-capture the company only for an arrow to embed itself into one of the swordelfs back killing him before orcs leaped over the bridge and descended upon the barrel riders which seemed to call to the others as more showed up from the sides.

The dwarves tried to fight the monsters bare-handed and Bilbo managed to slay one with Sting but it was obvious they would be overrun if they did not act fast so Kili leaped from his barrel to make a go for the lever to try and free the others barely dodging attacks till Dwalin threw him a weapon he took from the orc he killed to help the prince fight his way to where he needed to go.

An orc tried to use a spear to stab Kili but Fili threw a dagger into the chest of the monster killing it and Kili decapitated another but everything seemed to slow down as Bolg raised his bow to send a pure black arrow flying through the air and into Kili's leg.

'KILI!" Fili called out to his brother 

Said dwarf tried to pull down the switch but the pain in his leg was too much and it made him just fall to the ground and an orc approached ready to take advantage of the wounded prey...till another arrow shot it in the chest and the elvish maiden leaped into view killing another with her arrows before pulling out duel knives to kill her rapidly growing opponents, the she-elf spun around like a dancer on stage, knives spinning with her killing as many orcs as they could hit at once. 

The blond elf also came from behind a bush and began to kill opponents with her giving Kili enough time to gain strenth to get to his feet to reach up to pull the lever before falling back down to the ground with a cry of pain but managed to at least slide himself over to where he could drop himself into an empty barrel snapping the arrow shaft off into the water and no doubt jostling the wound even more.

The barrels now free again from the barrier shot past at almost breakneck speed and spun around even more as the current itself got faster and faster and the orcs and elves gave chase shooting arrows at both the barrels and each other weapons clashing and bodies falling into the raging river pulling the ones without barrels to keep them afloat into its depths.

The company did their best to protect themselves and each other as orcs tried to attack from all sides Thorin even managing to impale an orc to a tree that was going to attack Balin.

"Cut the log!!!" Thorin commanded and him, Bofur and Dwalin got to work chopping through a huge log that had several orcs on it and were happy when it gave way knocking the dark creatures into the water.

Bomburs barrel was stabbed with a spear but thankfully he was not harmed but was lifted into the air from the force where it hit a hill and rolled down it taking orcs down as it went till it finally came to a stop and was surrounded by the enemy but what they did not expect was the rotund dwarf's legs and arms to burst out of the wood, weapons in hand, he spun around like a top taking out his opponents with ease before bursting out of the rest of the broken barrel remains and jumping rather gracefully into an empty one.

But any joy that would have been felt over that was quickly dashed as the blond elf deciding it would be a great idea to use the dwarf's heads as stepping stones earning a lot of yelling from said hard heads and when he managed to make it to a cliff, was too busy with an opponent to see another one coming up from behind him but Thorin did and threw an ax at the dark one and killed it making the elf prince look at him in surprise, the dwarf king may not have liked elves but he was not about to just let one die in front of him when he had the ability to help, he would not be like Thranduil...

This however proved to do more than show the elf Thorin had honor left in him, it made him turn away from his escaping prisoners to focus on taking out as many orcs as he could and the barrels sped off with at least a few less pursuers.

Thankfully the river calmed down after a while and they managed to get the slip on the rest of the orc pack that managed to follow them but it would not be for long and they needed to get to shore.

Everyone was half-drowned and coughing up water, Dwalin even having to grab Ori and pretty much yank him to land before dropping him back down. 

Kili limped to shore and Bofur looked on in concern only to be glared at "I'm fine it's nothing.."

Thorin hated seeing Kili like this, the warrior was having an intense battle with the uncle in him, who wanted to hold his nephew close, to protect, to comfort, but the warrior knew that they had to keep moving or else they would have much more to worry about if orcs caught up with them, when they found a safe spot he would make sure Kili rested and got better, he would be unable to join them to the mountain, he would undoubtedly hear words from him for it, but perhaps a bit of walking would make him less stubborn about staying behind, it was a bit cruel, yes, but Kili was stubborn and Thorin would not humiliate him by forcing him to put up with being carried like a child.

Kili would have no time to be upset when they were home and he would be a prince officially, Thorin and Dis would have to watch over him to make sure he did not splurge too much of his new money on bows and arrows or any silly things that caught his fancy, they would all have more gold than they had ever seen before and he could finally act on his feelings, admit to his One how he felt, Kili and Fili loved Bilbo already and Dis would love the spitfire Shireling too.

But he had time to think of all that when they were inside the mountain safe and sound...

Ori did not like wet boots...oh well at least he could empty...them...who is that? 

A man draped in shadow had approached soundlessly and now had his bow and arrow pointed right at the young scribe and Dwalin quickly got in front of him with a thick branch in his hands which was quickly shot into right between the larger dwarfs hands and turning quickly the newcomer shot a rock out of Kili's hand who was preparing to throw it to defend his friends and drew yet another arrow.

"Do it again...and your DEAD...." the man growled showing his face and everyone froze but Balin quickly took notice of a nearby boat and slowly began to approach, hands raised and allowing his diplomatic skills take forefront in his mind.

"Excuse me..but...your from Laketown if I'm not mistaken.." Balin started and raised his hands higher when the bow got pointed at him, he needed to remain calm, this was a man, not an orc, he could perhaps be reasoned with, money always talked with humans "That barge over there it wouldn't be available for hire by any chance?" the old dwarf could not help but feel triumphant as the bow was slowly lowered as the man relized they meant him no harm.

The man went over to his boat and began to load the barrels into it after putting his weapons away "What makes you think I would help you?" 

"Those boots have seen better days, as has that coat! And no doubt you have some hungry mouths to feed" Balin said and took quick note of the look that passed over the bargeman's face and chuckled good-naturedly "How many Bairns?" Like with dwarves, children usually brought out a better mood with humans and best to keep this man in a good one.

"A boy and two girls..." the man said mildly as he loaded another barrel 

"And your wife, I imagine she's a beauty!" 

The man frown deepened "Ay...she was..." 

Oh, that was a bad snag... "I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." Balin began trying to cover up his slip

"Oh come on come on! Enough of the niceties!" Dwalin growled out not understanding why they would try and please this person, there were fourteen of them and only one him! Just shove him over like the tree that he is and pile onto the boat! 

"What's your hurry?" the man in question asked 

"What's it to you?" Dwalin scowled 

"I would like to know who you are, and what you are doing in these lands.."

"We are simple merchants from the Blue Mountains journeying to see our kin in the Iron Hills" Balin tried to soothe with the lie, they just needed to get close enough to the mountain to speed things along, what was money and a bit of pride when they were so close to restoring their home? And Laketown would benefit as well, they would restore trade, wealth would flow once more and this man would be compensated even more for his help.

If he helped....

The man smiled but the look of it did not mean anything well "Simple Merchants you say?" 

"We need food, supplies, weapons..." Thorin spoke up "Can you help us?" he knew being kind and diplomatic was their best option here, he briefly considered offering him anything he wanted after they got to their destination and were able to get it, but he closed his mouth, no need to awaken a possible threat.

He knew the consequences of offering a vague deal even if it was not translucent from your end....he would not risk anyone on this quest like that...never say anything if you're not willing to risk everything.

The man slowly turned a barrel around and exposed the arrow gashes on that side "I know where these barrels came from.."

"What of it?" Thorin asked wanting to hide how nervous this was making him 

"I don't know what business you had with the elves, But I don't think it ended well..." 

Thorin could not fight back the glare that infected his face 

"No one enters Laketown but by leave of the master,all his wealth comes from trade with the woodland realm...he would see you in irons before risking the wrath of king Thranduil..." Bard said throwing the rope keeping his boat in place to Balin mockingly. 

Balin looked to Thorin for help but all he got was a whispered: "offer him more.." 

"id wager there are ways to enter that town unseen!" Balin said pretty much grasping at strings at this point.

"Ay, but for that, you would need a smuggler..." 

"For which we would pay DOUBLE..." 

That look from the man said it all....perhaps he still had some of his skills left...


	18. Chapter 18

The lake was cold and onymous, no one on the boat felt comfortable except maybe their smuggler who was standing quietly steering the boat.

"Watch out!!!" Bofur yelled as they approached a large broken pillar sticking out of the waters which seemed to appear out of nowhere, but the Bargeman avoided it with ease.

"What are you trying to do? Drown us?" Thorin growled, they could swim, yes, but the cold water would be more dangerous than getting a little wet, they had already done that today...

"I was born and bred on these waters master dwarf...if I wanted to drown you, I would not do it here..." Bard said bluntly

"Oh, I have had enough of this lippy Lakeman..." Dwalin grumbled, "I say we throw him over the side and be done with it..."

"Oh, BARD, his names Bard!" Bilbo said turning to Dwalin not liking his attitude 

"How do you know?" Bofur questioned 

"Uh, I ASKED him..." 

"I don't care what he calls himself, I don't like him," Dwalin said leaning against a barrel as he glared even more at the man.

"We don't have to like him, we simply have to PAY him...come on now lads...turn out your pockets.." Balin said trying to gain as much coin as possible for their host 

"How do we know he won't betray us?" Dwalin whispered to Thorin

"We don't..." 

"Er...just a wee problem...we are ten coins short..." Balin said nervously 

Thorin just crossed his arms knowing who exactly was not giving their fair share "Gloin...come on...give us what you have" 

"Don't look to me! I have been bled DRY by this venture! And what have I seen for my investment?! not but misery and grief and-" Gloin ranted seemingly not seeing as everyone stopped and stared at something in the distance till the clouds parted and exposed the Lonely Mountain for them all to see which quickly made the red-headed dwarf fumble around in his pockets and pull out his coin purse "bless my beard...take it! Take all of it!" 

Bilbo cleared his throat to warn the others that Bard was approaching them looking very nervous himself where he demanded the coins from them which was met by some argument as they wanted to wait till they had what they paid for,but as they were approaching a guard station they had no choice but to climb back into the barrels to avoid being seen as Bard approached a man on the deck.

"What is he doing?" Dwalin whispered 

"He's talking to someone...He's pointing right at us! Now their shaking hands..." Bilbo replied and felt a cold shiver go down his spine, oh this was not good..not good at all...when had this bad luck built up all of a sudden?! 

"What!?" Thorin said 

"He's selling us out!" Dwalin growled out as the sound of machinery was heard 

What was that....

SLAP SLAP SLAP!!!

FISH!

dozens of fish rained down upon their heads, dead eyes looking at them and fish juice coating their clothes and hair which made several of them grumble till Bard kicked one of the barrels.

"Quiet...we are approaching the toll gate..." he warned as he tried to go about his business with the keeper of the gate.

Who is that slimy looking man? Saying he looked like a rat would be an insult to rats! 

The slimy man read over the papers, sneering at Bard as they talked and the rat-man pointed out that the barrels are supposed to be empty and that Bard is not a fisherman and the fish was illegal ignoring as Bard tried to appease him by saying that people in the town are hungry 

Thorin was going to change that...

The barrels almost ended up over the side since the man obviously cared very little for the starving folk, but quickly stopped when Bard brought up the fact it would cause rioting if the food was just thrown into the water which thankfully kept them from being exposed. 

Bard got back into his boat and started to move it inside 

"The master has his eye on you...you'd do well to remember we know where you live..." the scum said and Bard just shrugged

"It's a small town Alfrid...everyone knows where everyone lives" was the blunt reply and Bilbo would have laughed if he did not have fish next to his mouth and was very happy when they were allowed out of the smelly prison to walk around though he knew they would need new clothes unless Smaug hated fish and that made dragon less likely to eat or detect him.

Oh, that was nice of Bard to give that man all of the fish...

This town was in serious need of repairs...

"What is this place?" Bilbo asked 

"This Master Baggins..is the world of men" Thorin almost spat out the words like they left a bitter taste and Bilbo was eager to perhaps ask him more about his past to maybe help him get passed at least some of his issues.

And that's a guard! 

The company ran like orcs were on their tails again but much to their surprise the lake towners worked together to take down the soldiers since they wanted to help protect Bard even helping hide the bodies of the unconscious ones from the others walking up.

Bard would make a good leader for the town he had no doubt...

Plus that slip crack was hilarious....and one way to get rid of an annoyance...  
\----  
He never thought he would be so eager to see a robe in his life! 

The fluffy blue robe was not something Bilbo would usually wear but he was more than thankful for it, especially after having to get in frigid water to climb out of someone's toilet and then have his companions complain about not having proper weapons, they looked fine if a bit crooked, but beggars could not be choosers.

AAANNND their they go outside....Bard was not even out of his house for ten minutes!

He would be having words with all of them once this was said and done!

\---

Kili limped around and was doing his best to try and bear the weight of the proper weapons that were being handed to him to carry down 

"You alright?" Thorin asked 

"I'm fine.." Kili grumbled and walked away after being handed more weapons only to fall down the steps when a horrid pain split up his leg causing the weapons to loudly clang and clatter to the ground and the company quickly tried to get away but the guards proved competent in this instance and surrounded them even holding the wounded Kili at knifepoint.

Curse all their luck...

\---

Thorin waited, not even breathing

Come on you greasy haired reptile...do what your people always do when confronted with dwarven riches...

"I say unto you...WELCOME! Welcome and thrice welcome! King under the mountain!" The Master shouted as the townspeople cheered and Thorin bit back a knowing smile at the man's simple nature and how easy it was to convince him and the rest of the town, a little speech was all it took and some kind words from his One, Bilbo truly did have the stuff of a great consort under the mountain...

This fat slob of a man would be one of the first things to go when he regained his throne...Thorin would let the gold flow from Erebor once more as promised, but this pig would not see one single coin of it, he obviously cared nothing for his people and let them go on starving, desperate and in need of some form of help, much like how his own people had been once, well he would give them what they needed! He would not only give them more gold than they would know what to do with, and he would relieve them of the Master! 

Perhaps Bard would like him and that other fellow as servants? Then again he did not want them stinking up the rebuilt Dale....But he did owe Bard despite his doubts against their quest, throwing a title at him would keep him happy, a good life for his children was all anyone with little ones to feed could want and it would make Bilbo happy if his previous words in the boat, scolding Dwalin and insisting on calling Bard by his name was anything to go by.

He would have a kingdom overflowing with happiness and wealth, his family and beloved by his side, ruling together the greatest kingdom of middle earth! 

It was theirs for the taking...

\---

It hurt Thorin to leave Kili behind and it hurt the fact that Fili did not understand why he knew his decision would be a blow to them both but he could not risk anything, Kili was too hurt to go on, he would be risking not only himself, but the entire company, Fili's loyalty made his heart warm but he knew that his heir did not understand and was clearly focusing on his emotional feeling rather than thinking out what was best for everyone.

Besides, in the end, he supposed he was glad that Kili now had three others to protect him just in case, one of which was their medic , hopefully, they would not need him on their side of the issue...

After it was all over he would apologize and mention his plans going forward, he was sure the boys would be so happy that they would no longer be upset about the past actions.

Plus if his theory was correct he would not only be adding Bilbo to the line of Durin...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did want to do the part where they enter the mountain but since I kinda want to do that and the Smaug scenes all together (to finish out DOS properly) I decided to end the chapter where I did
> 
> hope it is ok and if you guys have any ideas for this or a future story let me know


	19. Chapter 19

In all honesty, I kinda want to do one of those prompts multi-chapter mini-story things that are horror based and make every character BUT Thorin Koo Koo for cocoa puffs since he gets MORE than his fair share of being bug fuck nuts ...'

it might hurt a bit making them all so OOC but Thorin's not a rapist/possessive asshole and I see people flock to that shit soooooo...

And well at work yesterday I thought about doing a hospital Crossover AU (based off of "Untold Stories Of The ER" ) and perhaps some pregnancy-themed shows like "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" 

I eat up these shows and shows like it with a spoon ....my mom even wondered if I wanted to be a nurse (I actually did want to be a vet when I was little )...I love helping, but I wouldn't want to see people/animals die or possibly be the reason FOR a death because I fucked up...

And the readers would be allowed to pick out the next patient and their medical issues if they choose to or just tell me to go balls to the wall with it

anyway...

tell me what you guys think and do not worry I am working on the next chapter and it will be up very soon


	20. Chapter 20

Almost there...

"Anything!?" Thorin shouted, his voice showing how desperate he was to find the door before the sunset.

"Nothing!" Dwalin called back from the edge of a nearby hillside

"If the map is true, the hidden door lies directly above us..." Thorin said scanning the map as everyone looked around for the staircase that would lead them to the hidden door and the dwarves did not seem to be able to find it and Bilbo was shocked to see Thorin starting to behave very strangely, perhaps he was just sleep deprived? Or swallowed too much fish slash toilet water? 

The mountain did feel ....strange...

Maybe it had its own magic? Like the Rivendell energy he felt in the caves? 

No...this felt more like Mirkwoods, oppressive ...no, it couldn't be...must just be dragon stench leaking through the cracks...dragon corpse he hoped...it would take a while to clean up but hey, he was dedicated to finishing this and well cleaning up a dragons body was not EXACTLY his idea of a romantic evening it was bonding of a sort...

come on it was getting da-

Wait...

There it is! 

A large stone dwarf stuck out of the mountain with stairs included! 

"Up here!!" Bilbo yelled as loud as he could, bad feeling going as quickly as it came and Thorin ran over giving one of his large grins at the sight.

"You have keen eyes, Master Baggins..." Thorin said wishing he could kiss the little hobbit but also knowing they had others around and were on a limited time frame.

up up and up they climbed till they reached a part of the mountain that well not perfectly flat, looked very much like it could house a hidden door on it.

"This must be it.." Thorin said, out of breath from his climb but also from joy at finally having arrived, he was almost home, they all were "the hidden door...Let all who doubted us...rue this day!!!" Thorin shouted giving a grin that rivaled the sunset behind them and held up the key triumphantly as the Company cheered.

"Right then...we have a key, which means that somewhere...there is a keyhole.." Dwalin said sounding happier than many of them had ever heard him, it was not a boisterous glee like back in bag end where he poured ale down Oin's trumpet and cackled afterward, this was a soft warmth, of hope and longing, of returning to where you came from.

"The last light of Durin's day...will shine upon the keyhole.." Thorin whispered looking from the fading sun to the wall which was showing no signs of a keyhole or a door "Nori.." was all that needed to be said for the thief to go forward with a couple of spoons, no doubt stolen, to tap on the wall in hope of hearing some kind of echo that would give him a clue to where it might be and Dwalin even began to push on it.

"We are losing the light come on!" Thorin urged and Bilbo felt the shudder again before sadness started to leak in as Dwalin began to kick at the wall 

"Be quiet! I can't hear when your thumping!" Nori scolded 

"It's not here! It's not here!" Dwalin shouted and began to punch and kick with even more furver if it was possible.

"Break it down!" Thorin almost screamed and shouts of agreement shouted back as Dwalin and Gloin got out their axes and began to hit at the stone "Come on!" but it did not budge and everyone looked from the wall to the setting sun feeling the hope start to fizzle out like water had been dumped on it.

"It's no good! The door is sealed! It can't be opened by force..." Balin said and the weapons were tossed down in anger "A powerful magic on it.."

The last bits of sunlight faded behind the mountain peaks and with it went the rest of Thorin's composer as he ran forward and got out the map to look at it, hoping for some other sign "The last light of Durin's day...will shine upon the keyhole...That is what it says..." Thorin croaked out, sounding like he was moments away from crying, barred from his home, after so much trouble, after so much pain and wandering, it was all for nothing "What did we miss?" the blue eyed dwarf approached Balin, looking to his father figure for some form of guidance "What did we miss? Balin..." 

The older dwarf just shook his head "We've lost the light...there's no more to be done...we had but one chance, come on lads..it's over.." Balin said and everyone began to head for the steps again, heads hanging as if headed for an executioners block.

No...this can't be the end! Not now...Not after everything they had been through! 

"Wait a minute...where are they going?! You can't give up now!" Bilbo tried to encourage them but all Thorin did was give him the look like a dog that had been kicked and drop the key to the ground before slapping the map into the hands of the hobbit who tried to put his hands over the dwarfs to try and get him to remain but no strength seemed to be left inside him either "You can't give up now..."

He had to find it! He would not give up! 

Bilbo thought over the maps words and looked over the wall, hoping that the 'keen eyes' Thorin complimented him on would help him find the spot where the key would go, but nothing was showing, perhaps they were in the wrong spo-Light? And a thrush was ...knocking....

Moonlight...

The silver light of the moon shone down upon the rock and the hobbit watched amazed as it seemed to narrow into a beam...to shine upon a small hole in the crack of the wall! It WAS here! 

"The keyhole!!! COME BACK!!! come back! It's the light of the moon! The last moon of autumn! haha!" Bilbo laughed before spinning around looking for the little metal piece that would get them inside "The key..where is the key!? it was just-"

Tink tink

No!!

Stomp! 

A steel-toed boot stomped down upon the string that wrapped around the key, keeping it from being lost forever as the owner picked it up carefully and as he did so, the rest of the company appeared as if by magic at his side.

Slowly but with no hesitation, Thorin slid the key into the hole and turned it, a strange thumping sound was heard and the dwarf put both hands on the wall and giving a shove a large door appeared from seemingly nowhere and the would-be king stepped inside.

"Erebor..." Thorin said, awed as Balin stepped up behind him

"Thorin.." Balin looked ready to cry himself now, but not from sadness, his home, that he thought he would never live to see again, was here, the door was open and almost seemed to beckon them inside.

"I know these walls...these halls....this stone...you remember Balin...chambers filled with golden light..." Thorin said running his hands across the hallway, feeling them, memories flooding back to him.

"Aye..." was all the old dwarf could get out 

The rest of the company slowly stepped inside, also feeling the call and Gloin noticed an inscription on top of the door.

"herein lies the seventh kingdom of Durin's folk...may the heart of the mountain unite all dwarves into defence of this home..." 

"The throne of the king" Balin grinned at Bilbo who noticed something on top of the throne in the picture.

"And what's that above it?" Bilbo asked 

"The Arkenstone.." Balin whispered

"That Master Burglar, is why you are here," Thorin said and Bilbo felt another shiver down his spine, something more than fear at possibly awakening a dragon, something was wrong with Thorin, but he could not figure out what....it made his stomach twist, after everything, Thorin had still not called him by his name, and just now he called him burglar, not Baggins, something was ...wrong...

Balin gently led him down the hall distracting him from the feeling for a moment

"In truth lad...I don't know what you will find down there, you needn't go if you don't want to, there's no dishonor in turning back" Balin said obviously not very comfortable with the situation either, he too sensed something was off with how things were going.

Bilbo tried to smile "No, Balin, I promised I would do this, and I think I must try" 

Balin started to laugh "It never ceases to amaze me..."

"What's that?" 

Balin smiled wider "The courage of hobbits, go now and with as much luck as you can muster" 

Well, he would try ...

"Oh, and Bilbo, if there is, in fact, a live dragon down there, don't waken it..." 

You had to bring THAT up...

Bilbo turned to head down the hall but wanted to keep talking to Balin to work up some more nerve only to turn around and see he was heading off

Welp...looks like he was on his own now...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would have the meeting/dwarf battle in this chapter but I did not want the chapter TOO long since it makes it harder to spell check it on here since Grammarly is a butthole sometimes...


	21. Chapter 21

The hallways oppressive feel just got heavier and heavier as he walked down it, the chamber was not as dark as he thought it should be, perhaps this was magic here? 

"Hello?" Bilbo whispered, even giving a polite knock to the wall which caused an echo that scared the hobbit a good bit and made him quickly go back up against the wall to make sure nothing popped out at him and when nothing did he just cleared his throat and kept walking forward.

"You're not at home...not at home...good...good, good...." 

Was he trying to just convince himself of that or hoping his luck magic would just poof the dragon away if it was there?

It would be nice...

Oh, creator...

Miles and miles of gold and other treasure lay out across the cavernous room, gems, cups, material, silver, bronze and of course gold coins, how on earth would someone be expected to find anything in here?! Or for that matter, take their full share with them? The most someone would use in a lifetime would maybe be about the size of a bucket! And not even a big bucket! 

Perhaps the dwarves just planned on using Erebor as a bank of sorts? taking out what they needed when they needed it? Sounded smart now that he thought about it, no need to carry around so much on you, especially with bandits on the rise.

It would have been nice if the dragon chose to be a bit neater and sort his treasures out...put all the white gems in one spot for easy access...but he supposed that would be too easy for how their adventure had been going so far, a few lucky breaks notwithstanding.

Stepping onto the coins they clinked and shifted under his weight, making more noise than Bilbo was comfortable with even if the dragon was dead, something else might be in this place and he did not want to attract anything to him till he had the stone and could get back, he did not want to use that ring for anything else, not after what it did to him back in the forest....best thing would be to keep it till he could find out why it made him...not himself and then perhaps lift whatever enchantment was on it or just give it to Gandalf to dispose of.

Slowly sifting through the small pile he saw near his feet Bilbo took out random pieces of treasure, trying to see if it shone or sounded off a noise of some kind that made it known what it truly was, but all the rings, bracelets and gems he picked up did nothing to hint that they were the stone he was looking for! In a small bit of frustration, he threw down a jewel and naively tried to shush the inanimate objects that shifted because of it.

Oh, he was going crazy...

"Arkenstone....a large, white Jewel...VERY helpful..." The Shireling would be here all night if not the rest of his days searching for the stone! But he did not want to go back empty-handed...should bring back at least SOME kind of shiny rock....maybe something good would be under this large cup? 

Yanking the goblet loose more coins shifted down ...down....

Was that ...an EYE!? A BIG EYE!

Bilbo ran to hide behind a pillar hoping the beast was dead and would not move, but luck seemed to have abandoned him as he heard a deep inhale behind him and the sound of more gold shifting around.

Ok...ok..just have to ..go over to this..side...

More gold shifted all the way over on the other side of the stone pillar and a tail was revealed, showing just how big this monster was...and it was waking up.

More shifting as the dragons head moved down to be mear feet away from the hobbit and a large orange eye opened to scan the room and Bilbo was glad he moved to hide behind a pile of coins, but it would not keep him safe for long..

The ring....the ring...

Taking the object out of his pocket, Bilbo stared at it for a moment, he did not want to...but he did....no....it was put it on or die....

Put it on...

Put it ON....

Bilbo slipped on the ring and the grey world enveloped him a fog just as the dragons head lifted up and began to sniff.

**"Weeeell.....THEIF....I SMELL you..I hear your BREATH....I feel..your AIR....Where Are You? WhEre Are YOu?!"** Smaugs voice vibrated and shook Bilbo to his core with it's growl, the dragon's head slowly slithered it's way over to the hobbits thought to be safe spot sniffing more.

Run run ...

RUNN!!!!

Bilbo hauled it down the hills of coins, praying he would not trip and he heard as Smaug shifted as fast through the gold after him as a fish would through water and stopped just as he found another spot to rest under a stone bridge of sorts.

**"Come noow...don't be SHY....step into the LIGHT!"** Smaug growled out and looked in Bilbo's direction, he could not see him, but he could smell him **"Hmmmm there is something about you...Something you carry...something made of GOLD...but far...more....PRECIOUS..."**

_precious precious precious precious  
precious precious precious precious precious precious precious precious  
precious precious precious precious  
precious precious precious precious _

_Precious precious precious_

_precious_

ARG!!!

**"There you are...Theif In The Shadows...."**

Oh no...

Think...think....

"I-I-I dI..D...N-ot...come to steal from you...oh Smaug the Unassessably wealthy...I merely wanted to gaze upon your magnificence...to see if you really were as great as the old tales say...erhgm...I-i did not believe them!" Bilbo whimpered hoping the dragon would buy his obvious lie.

Smashing and crashing was heard as the dragon slithered around before standing tall in a clearing **"AND DO YOU NOW?!?!"** Smaug's voice boomed throughout the cavern as he kept his pose waiting for an answer.

"Truly...the tales and songs...fall utterly short..." Bilbo said glad he perhaps found a way to keep himself alive well being in here with this furnace with wings "Of your enormity oh Smaug...the stupendous..."

**"Do you think FLATTERY will keep you alive?"**

"N-no..."

**"No indeed....you seem familiar with my name, but I don't remember smelling your kind before....who are you? And where do you come from, may I Ask?"** Smaug's grin was audible

No, he could not let him know anything about him or the Shire, knowing this monster he would go there just to torch everything for revenge just for him walking into his 'home' he had to....ohhh....

A large, white jewel shone from under the gold, rainbow swirls dancing inside it

The Arkenstone...it was right there....he just had to....find a way to grab it...

Let's play a game of riddles then...

"I come from under the hill..." 

**"Underhill?"**

"And under hills and over hills my path had led...and through the air..I am he who walks unseen..." oh was that his BREATH?

**"And what else do you claim to be?"**

"Luck wearer...riddle maker..."

**"Lovely titles go on..."**

"Barrel rider..."

**"Barrels?! Now that is interesting...And what about your little dwarf friends? Where are they hiding?"**

Bother it!

"D-Dwarves?" Bilbo said, sounding like he had never heard the word before "no no dwarves here,you got that all wrong!" 

**"Oh I don't think so...BARREL RIDER! They sent you in here to do their dirty work well they skulk about outside!"**

"No no you could not be more wrong! Oh Smaug chiefest and greatest of calamities..." 

**"You have NICE manners...for a thief and a LIAR! I know the smell and TASTE of dwarf!!! No one better! it is the GOLD! THEY ARE DRAWN TO IT LIKE FLIES TO DEAD FLESH!!!"** Smaug boomed again and the Arkenstone ended up rolling away from the force of his temper and Bilbo ran after it hoping Smaug thought he was just trying to avoid being crushed by the falling beams, which was not exactly a lie!

**"DID YOU THINK I DID NOT KNOW THIS DAY WOULD COME?! THAT A PACK OF DWARVES WOULD COME CRAWLING BACK TO THE MOUNTAIN!?"** Smaug shoved over pillars as he screamed Bilbo trying to avoid them as best he could well still keeping the stone in his sights not knowing what was going on outside....  
\----  
"What was that??"

"That lad..was a dragon..." 

Why was there...burglar...taking so long? He should be back with his stone by now! Did he really wake the beast?! foolishness....why did...wait...what was...he ...his one....no...burglar...baggins...Bilbo....gold....Arkenstone....

"What about Bilbo?" Ori asked 

"Give him more time!" Thorin growled, his head hurting at the banging 

Thoughts swirled in Thorin's head as he stared into the distance, the boom from inside Erebor doing nothing to move him despite how his legs seemed to want to do just that.

"Time to do what?! to be killed!" Balin scolded 

"Your AFRAID..."

"yes...I'm afraid! I fear for you....a sickness lays upon that treasure hoard! A sickness that drove your grandfather mad!" 

"I am not my grandfather..."

"Your not yourself! The Thorin I know would not hesitate to go in there and-" 

'I will not risk this quest for the life of one.....burglar..." why did that title sound so...wrong on his tongue...why did he....hesitate there..

"Bilbo...his NAME is Bilbo..."  
\---  
**"THE KING UNDER THE MOUNTAIN IS DEAD! I TOOK HIS THRONE! I ATE HIS PEOPLE LIKE A WOLF AMONG SHEEP!! I KILL WHERE I WISH WHEN I WISH! MY ARMOR IS IRON! NO BLADE CAN PIERCE ME!"**

Bilbo saw the stone and tried to sneak to it once more

**"Oakenshield that filthy dwarvish usurper sent you in here for the Arkenstone didn't he?!"**

"no nono! I don't know what you're talking about!" 

**"Don't bother denying it! I sensed his foul purpose some time ago! but it matters not...Oakensheilds quest...will FAIL....a darkness is coming....you are being used Theif in the shadows....Oakensheild has weighed the value of your life...and found it worth NOTHING...."**

"no ...your LYING!" Bilbo hated how his voice shook, but he knew it was a filthy lie, he knew Thorin! 

**"What did he promise you? a share of the treasure? as if it was his to give...I will not part with a SINGLE coin! NOT.ONE.PIECE.OF.IT! MY TEETH ARE SWORDS! MY CLAWS SPEARS! MY WINGS A HURRICANE!!!"** And just as the dragon lifted himself up, Bilbo saw what he had hoped...an opening just as bare as a snail out of its shell.

"So it's true...the black arrow found its mark..." 

**"WHAT DID YOU SAY!??!?!"**

"iIIII-I...WAS just saying...your reputation precedes you! oh Smaug the tyrannical! obviously, you have no equal on this EARTH!" Bilbo said backing up more ....and saw the stone....right there...

**"I am almost tempted to let you TAKE it...if only to see Oakensheild SUFFER....watch it corrupt his heart...and drive him MAD...but I think not....I think our little game ends HERE...so tell me thief how do you choose to die!?"**

Of old age thank you! 

Powerful jaws snapped shut over air and Smaug blew fire in an attempt to torch the hobbit who was already going up the stairs.

Thorin! He came down for him! 

"Your alive!" the dwarf called 

"Not for much longer!"

"Did you find the Arkenstone?!" Thorin felt a rush of..something go through him...he needed that stone....he could feel it was close...it was a reasonable desire...

"The dragons coming-"

"The Arkenstone!" Thorin yelled before seeming to calm down "did you find it?"

Bilbo could see that Thorin was not himself right then..his eyes....they ...those aren't his eyes, he couldn't give that rock to him now! Not now...

"No we have to get out" Bilbo tried to say evenly and walked towards the exit...only for a sword to be put in front of it and then led towards him"Thorin..." the sword was at his chest now "Thorin..." the hobbit wanted to do something but all he could do was back up, this was not Thorin....not him at all...oh no...the dragon...

Thankfully Thorin seemed to notice he was no longer looking at him and turned around to see Smaug stalking towards them both and regained his senses just as the other members of the company shot into view with a battle cry making Smaug roar in anger and rush at them.

**"YOU WILL BURN!!!!"**

"RUN!!!" 

Not a moment after everyone jumped down the bridge a stream of fire burst above them all and they could feel the heat of it singe their hair and were glad they made it before it could truly hit someone.

"Stay close!" Thorin said as they ran down the hallways and Bilbo was glad to see he was acting like himself again, nothing like a life threatening monster chasing your tails to cause-

Oh...

Bodies, dozens of them littered the room, women and children, the corpses littered the room, dust covering them like a sick death shroud, the smell of rotting flesh had faded after so long, but the stale stench of death remained and everyone could almost hear the screams that no doubt these poor souls let out, fearful and desperate for salvation.

"That's it then...there's no end.." Dwalin said, his voice tired, knowing now their one way out, was gone as an opening was covered in rocks, no doubt collapsed during the attack so long ago, trapping these dwarrow who had come for a chance at freedom.

Thorin looked around at the bodies, mostly young women, several children, one poor dwarrowdam even had a tiny child laying on her breast, perhaps mear days old at the time of the massacre...a full life would have been ahead...

"The last of our kin..they must have come here...hoping beyond hope..." Balin whispered as more screams of the dead seemed to fill the air "We could try and reach the mines,might last a few days..." 

"No..." came another faint whisper from Thorin as he walked more into the room looking at the dead, knowing that if they went to the mines, this would be the fate of all of them, no way out, slowly starving, suffocating, would little Ori go first if they did that? Perhaps the elderly Balin would succumb to the dispair, would Thorin hold his dying friends and desired One in his arms as they slipped from his grasp like water before finally ,his own end would come far too late to save him the pain of seeing their deaths, he would not have it! 

"I will not die like this...cowering...clawing for breath..." Thorin's voice cracked as he tried to steel himself again "We make for the forges!"

"He'll see us sure as death..." Dwalin said bluntly

"Not if we split up" 

"Thorin...we'll never make it..." Balin tried to say

"Some of us might..." at least then their would be a chance "lead him to the forges..we kill the dragon, if this is to end in FIRE, then we will all BURN together!" 

They ran 

Hallways twisted and turned, Smaug saw them and once again gave chase blowing fire and roaring, calling mockery and trying to get into their heads long enough to pause them so he could end their lives.

Thorin screamed as another fire blast was let off as Smaug caught sight of him and set his cape on fire causing the dwarf to try and roll around before just shaking it off and standing back up "Let's go!" no time for conserning himself with a few mild burns! 

Never one for missing an oppertunity to be dramatic...

Smaug crawled over more stonework as they tried to go over another bridge 

**"Flee! FLEE! Run for your lives! there is nowhere to hide..."** Smaug grinned as he slowly approched, savoring the chase before two of the Ri brothers with Bombur ran up behind on another bridge.

"Behind you! come on!" 

Smaug sneared and turned his attention away from the three on the bridge to chase after Dori and Ori only to be called at by Dwalin who was with Nori and start to go for them, his ego wanting him to chase for whoevers insults where most recent and both barly avoided being crushed by one of the dragons feet before said beast saw Gloin and Bifur run passed on a lower level making him deside setting off another burst of fire would be better and Gloin did his best to keep running as the ground cracked and became red under his feet.

RUN RUN!

"This way it's this way come on!" Balin shouted at Thorin who was rushing ahead 

"Thorin!" Bilbo called trying to call him back

Thorin thought for a moment 

"Follow Balin!" Thorin commanded and Balin yanked Bilbo down another hallway just as Smaug went for Thorin and blasted off another fire blast which the dwarf king thankfully managed to grab a pully and ride it down to safety.

The forges...

"The plan won't work! these furnaces are stone cold!" Dwalin growled

"He's right, weve got no fire hot enough to set them ablaze.." Balin agreed with his sibling just as a roar from Smaug was heard and another idea formed in Thorins head.

"Have we not?" Thorin grinned and ran towards the gate that Smaug was behind and peeked through"I did look to see you so easily outwitted!!!" 

What was he doing?!

"You have grown slow and FAT in your dotage! SLUG..." 

Oh he did not just...

Thorin turned and grinned "take cover!" 

everyone raced to find a spot behind the gate before fire burst all around them, once more heat formed all around them, it was painful, it was by mear luck that no one was burned by the force.

BOOOOMMM

The forges reacted to the dragon fire and blasted the heat upwards which quickly spread to the other machines and caused them to begin to move, even after so many years of laying gathering dust, the skills of dwarves really did not just lay with precious metals, but in the crafting of their machines, even the ropes remained strong and useable.

Amazing

"Bombur! get those billows working! GO!" Thorin shouted and the chubby dwarf grabbed hold of a chain that caused another machine to blow air onto the fires, turning the already hot flames even hotter to the point they turned blue and a strange gurgling was heard as something in the containers began to melt from the heat.

"Bilbo! on my mark pull that lever!" Thorin said and gently pushed the hobbit forward with his hand to show him where to go and he did as told and ran for the steps leading to the pully and Thorin ran over to Balin "Balin can you still mix a flash flame?!" 

"Aye! It will only take a jiffy!" Balin confirmed and ran with a couple of the others to get his supplies

"We havnt got a jiffy.." Dwalin noted seeing how fast Smaug was twisting and pushing through the gate and as if to just prove him right, the dragon felled the wall and walked inside growling and hissing his chest glowing as he looked around for someone to shoot at.

Curse dwarves and their obbsession with stairs!! Bilbo mentally shouted as he panted his way up the steps to get to the lever, it was a large pully and he hoped he would be strong enough to pull it down and that it had not rusted with time and he looked down to see Thorin standing right where Smaug could see him.

Run..please run...

"NOW!!!" Thorin shouted and Bilbo jumped up and grunted as he pulled on the lever, it was easier to yank then he thought and the dwarf statues at his sides started to gush water and Smaug yelled in either shock or pain as it hit him and fizzled out his flames and caused even more machines to begin to move as the water filled some tubs making them twist down and pull across more containers filled with metal.

Bombur pulled another chain and slammed his whole weight down on the billow causing the flames to glow blue again and blue flashes burst across Smaugs neck and back as Dori. ori and Balin tossed some strange little bombs at him but the dragon had his eyes set on Thorin...

Gloin saw this and slashed at a nearby rope making the metal containers fly down and smash into the dragons spine making him shout in pain and fall to the floor at the force and now it was Thorin's turn to yank a chain that caused the forge to open and spill a small stream of gold that seemed to be going into some kind of tube.

"Lead him into the gallery of the kings!" Thorin commanded and Bilbo narrowly avoided being hit by a flying metal contraption and caught a glimpse at Thorin pushing a wheelbarrow into the stream of gold and use it like a mini boat on it, was that wheelbarrow heat proof??? If so that wheelbarrow would be worth more than the gold it was floating on! 

Bilbo cried out as the ledge he was on collapsed and sent him rolling to the ground ..and Smaug was staring right at him now!

"Keep going Bilbo! RUN!!!" Thorin called to him as he shot passed and the hobbit did not need anymore encouragment! 

Bilbo ran as fast as his legs could carry him and narrowly avoided being crushed by a clawed hand and slid down a ramp and kept running till he entered a huge hall and stopped to catch his breath but the wall behind him smashed in as Smaug crashed through and sent a banner down on top of him, thankfully the hanger missed him by a few feet.

**"You think you could desieve ME?! 'Barrel Rider'?! You have come from Lake Town! This is some scheme hatched between these FILTHY dwarves and those miserable tub trading lakemen! Those sniveling cowards with their long bows and BLACK ARROWS! Perhaps it is time I paid them a visit!"** Smaug hissed and began to head for the opening in the wall that led to the outside world.

Bilbo could not let that happen! "No...this isnt their fault!!! wait! You cannot go to Lake Town!" 

Smaug stopped dead in his tracks **"You CARE about them do you? GOOD...Then you can watch them DIE!"** then the dragon started for the opening again.

"HERE! You wittless WORM!" Thorin called out from on top of what appeared to be a stone statue and it seemed to do the trick as Smaug growled and turned to face him.

**"YOU..."**

"I'm taking back what you STOLE!" 

**"You will take NOTHING from me dwarf! I laid low your warriors of old! I instilled terror in the hearts of men! I am king under the mountain...."** Smaug hissed out as he slowly stalked towards Thorin.

"This is not your kingdom! These are dwarf lands! this is dwarf gold! And we will have our revenge!!!" and with that Thorin shouted in his secret language and the chains around the rock he was on broke away and the dwarf king leaped from it using a swinging chain to avoid what was inside.

A large gold statue, in form of his grandfather Thror, it gleamed in the dark and Smaugs eyes widened as he approched it, mezmerized by the gold it was made from, even gasping in awe.

What was this going to-was it melting? 

It indeed was 

The proud figure began to slump and diform like candy left out on a hot day and the molten river splashed onto the dragon making him shout out in shock and fall to the floor from the pure weight of the liquidized metal till he was fully submerged in it.

Smaug was gone! He was really-

**RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!"**

**gold burst up like a volcano as Smaug popped out of its depths and headed for the opening **"REVENGE!? REVENGE!!!!? I WILL SHOW YOU REVENGE!!!!"****

Bilbo raced for the opening too not knowing why and stopped when he reached a bolder to look over hoping the gold would harden and trap the dragon but it was shaken off as quickly as it had been poured on and the dragon flew straight for the town and even as far away as he was the hobbit could hear his chilling words... 

****"I am FIRE...."** **

****"I am..."** **

****"DEATH!!!"** **

**What had they done?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notice how in the scene when Thorin breaks free of his sickness...it's BILBO's voice that rings clear, well the others are distorted before his voice is heard? then Thorin's "I am not my grandfather" and Gandalfs "this treasure will be your death!" are heard clearer too 
> 
> it's Bilbo's voice that broke through the distortion and allowed Thorin to say his mantra and remember Gandalfs words and throw away his grandfathers crown and with it the madness 
> 
> So many say "Bilbo's voice was NOT the last voice Thorin heard so that means he is not anything other than a friend!" 
> 
> But it's the hobbit's voice that we hear loud and clear FIRST when before there was just drawn out distorted voices that do not sound right, but it's Bilbo's voice that is heard plainly and only afterward the warbly voices stop and Thorin's own voice and the wizards can finally break into the madness


	22. Chapter 22

All they could do was watch...

The great fire drake flew over the small town and let loose a stream of flame no doubt taking creator knows how many poor souls with it.

A bell rang in the distance before being cut off suddenly as it was smashed 

Wait a moment...

"It fell I saw it...it's dead, Smaug is dead!" Bilbo said turning to the company and everyone quickly turned to the spot as well.

"By my beard, I think he's right!" Gloin shouted, "Look there!" 

cawing came from above and they watched as ravens flew into view 

"The ravens of Erebor are returning to the mountain!" 

"Aye, word will spread, before long, every soul in middle earth will know, the dragon is dead!" Balin said smiling as everyone else laughed joyfully not noticing one of their group was not smiling or laughing.

Thorin quickly turned from the rejoicing and began to run back to the mountain knowing everyone would be after the gold...

His gold...

His mountain...

\--

Nothing he did was helping...

Thorin was refusing to come out of the treasure room..he had to find a way to-voices? no! They could not be here! 

Bilbo ran over to the little group that had entered the mountain, he was happy to see they were alive, yes, but they were in danger here...

"Wait!!! Wait!!!" 

"It's Bilbo, he's alive!" Oin called out 

"Stop stop! you need to LEAVE! We all need to leave!" Bilbo panted out trying to find air and Bofur just looked confused.

"But we only just got here.."

"I've tried talking to him but he won't listen.."

"Whaddo you mean laddie-"

"THORIN! Thorin...Thorin....He's been down there for days...he doesn't sleep...he barely eats...he's not been himself! I-it's this place! I think a sickness lays on it!" Bilbo said

"Sickness? what kind of sickness?" Kili asked concerned but before he could answer Fili began to run down the steps.

He couldn't! 

"Fili!! Fili Fili!!!" Bilbo shouted and ran after the blond dwarf trying to stop him but he was too tired from trying to help Thorin and barely eating himself.

Thorin stood in the middle of the gold room, cloaked in dark clothes, looking every inch like his sickly grandfather before him as he turned around to face the group and all his heir could do, was stare at this creature that had taken his beloved uncles shape...

"Gold...gold beyond measure...beyond sorrow...and grief...behold! The great treasure hoard of Thror!" Thorin almost growled out the name and Bilbo wanted to weep before the king under the mountain looked down and threw something in Fili's direction who caught it, revealing the object to be a red jewel "Welcome...my sister-sons....to the kingdom...of EREBOR..." 

This could not be how things were going to be...

\----

Bilbo wanted to be sick, the company searched without rest for the object he had in his coat, he wanted to reveal it, he did, but he wanted Thorin to cling to whatever remained of his sanity and Smaugs words rang in his head like poison.

**"I am almost tempted to let you take it...if only to see Oakenshield SUFFER, watch it corrupt his heart...and drive him MAD..."**

The hobbit shuddered but not from the cold that the room seemed to emit and hugged himself for some form of comfort.

Oh..what...right...that little thing...

Smiling despite himself, Bilbo gently took out a small acorn from his jacket, he felt a bit bad having taken it from Beorn's garden without permission, but, it would be so lovely when it had grown up, a strong oak tree, it was sort of funny...oak...

"WHAT IS THAT?! In your hand!?" Came a roar from behind him and Bilbo snapped his hand to himself protectively as Thorin stomped over and stopped only a couple of feet away, thankfully not ill enough to just grab at his hand to see what he wanted to.

"It's nothing..." Bilbo said not really wanting this Thorin to see it just yet

"Show me..." Thorin said in a voice that left no room for argument and the hobbit just gave a crooked grin and held out his hand to show the tiny object in it and he got a somewhat confused look in return.

"I picked it up in Beorn's Garden..." Bilbo said and thought he could see a spark of ..something...in the king's eyes.

"You've carried it all this way?" was the soft reply from the king, it was warm and gentle, sounding very much like the Thorin he wanted to know as his soulmate.

"I was going to take it back to the Shire...plant it in my garden, at Bag end.." Bilbo wanted to shout with joy as he saw those eyes start to lighten and a subtle grin poke through the frown.

"It's a poor prize to take back to the Shire.." Thorin almost whispered as if thinking something to himself.

"One day it will grow, and every time I look at it, I'll remember, remember everything that happened, the good, the bad, and how lucky I am to have made it home," Bilbo said and could not believe it as a warm, bright smile appeared on Thorin's face, perhaps now he could tell him about the Arkenstone...

"Thorin I-" Bilbo began to speak only for Dwalin to call out and the hobbit watched in horror as Thorin's eyes began to cloud over again...

No! He couldn't lose Thorin like this! Not after seeing those eyes clear after what seemed like such a lifetime of them in darkness...

He did not know what possessed him 

He did not care what he had to sacrifice of himself 

His respectable nature

His virginity 

His life.... 

He wanted Thorin to be himself again...

Bilbo grabbed hold of Thorin's arm with more strength than he knew he had and yanked hard whipping the dwarf around and grabbing a dangling braid to pull him in closer and their lips met.

And for a moment

Nothing mattered and was still...

No people outside 

No Arkenstone

No squawk of shock from behind them coming from Dwalin

Thorin's lips were cold and chapped from days of not caring for himself, but Bilbo did not care, the heart beating in his chest mattered more...

Slowly, two strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him impossibly closer to that slow beating sound that signaled his destined was alive, there with him.

"My...One..." came a voice, softer than he had ever heard it, and daring to look up, he saw eyes as clear as pure crystal light and a warm smile just like the one from moments ago. 

"Thorin...I...love you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like this chapter...kinda bounced around a bit in it 
> 
> Also ended up burning myself at work
> 
> the bloody grill bit me! thankfully it's healing and is slowly becoming less red


	23. Chapter 23

After Dwalin was done picking his jaw up off of the floor Thorin and Bilbo went to go see that yes, the lake towners were wandering around the ruined remains of Dale.

"They will come here next..." Thorin said, voice taking a dangerous edge to it and Bilbo leaned into him to keep the dark look at bay "For our gold..." He whispered as the hobbit put a hand on his shoulder.

"They are hurt Thorin, lost like your people were, they will need help, will you not give it to them? Would you turn away? Like....Thranduil did to you?" Bilbo reasoned and saw Thorin get a look of disgust on his face at the thought.

"If they arrive here I will speak to them...I did make ...a promise...but the cold is approaching fast, we must wall up the hole that slug made so we need to make sure it is strong to keep out the cold, snow and any...other problems" Thorin said and removed his cloak, it suddenly seeming much too heavy, and the crown too, so it came next, both felt stifling.

"Right then we should get to that now! Let's make a wall so strong not even another dragon can fell it!" Kili shouted, eager to help and the company cheered.

Many hours passed as they moved the stone, wheelbarrows full of rock and broken parts of pillars, piling high as they could, filling in cracks with old cloth that had no use being anything else since they had no other ways to at the moment, it would have to wait and hopefully, the snow would wait till they had the proper supplies to fly down.

Soon everyone was too tired to stand up and just fell asleep where they dropped, all but Thorin.

Bilbo searched for him, worried, he could not have just slipped away from him! He should have watched him better! He just turned for a moment to cover up Fili and Kili with that cloak!

"Bilbo, come here" Came a low voice from a hallway and turning he saw Thorin holding what looked like a small shirt in his hands and walked over, both glad Thorin had not curled up like a dragon in some gold pile and curious about the shining shirt in his hands. 

"I want this to be the first courting gift I give you, normally I would craft them with my own hands, but I do not want to wait till we can start crafting again to present a gift, we have already kissed, I want to set a good example, court you properly from here on out" Thorin said smiling a bit and Bilbo could not believe his eyes when he saw a faint blush upon the king's cheeks as he helped Bilbo into the garment.

Was this a type of chainmail? It was so light...

"Mithril...as it was called by my forbears....no blade can pierce it" Thorin explained and Bilbo thought he looked absurd, but it was a courting gift, he would also have to get to baking as soon as he was given access to a proper kitchen, flowers were out of the question at the moment as well....

"It is just a token...let us both get some rest now, we will need it"   
\---  
The next day seemed to come in only moments and soon everyone was wandering around trying to find whatever they could salvage to make the mountain somewhat livable for a large number of people, it was hard digging into certain areas that had caved in over the years and from the initial rampage, but thankfully most of the mountain was untouched as Smaugs damaged was limited to the places during their battle and a more or less straight line to the treasure room.

Noises outside

The company climbed up the wall and peeked over to see Bard riding on a white horse up to the gates and looking further they saw, something else, far less welcome to their sights.

Oh, THAT was bound to put Thorin in a good mood!

hundreds of elves, in full golden armor, were in full view of the mountain, weapons out and looking ready for a fight as they stood still as statues lined up on stairwells, streets and walls.

"Hail Thorin! Son of Thrain we are glad to find you alive beyond hope!" Bard called up as he stopped the horse.

"Why do you come to the gates of Erebor armed for war?!" Thorin growled out and Bilbo was glad to see his eyes remained clear, so he would be open to seeing reason, he hoped.

"Why is the king under the mountain holed up in his mountain like a robber in his hideaway?" Bard questioned which only made the dwarf's mouth turn down lower and Bilbo quickly grabbed Thorin's hand for some form of tether to his sanity.

"Perhaps because with an army of my second most hated enemy at my doorstep I expect to be robbed myself!" Thorin answered, squeezing Bilbo's hand gently "My company is also tired and worn from our own battle with the dragon, we can not afford an attack" 

"We do not wish to rob or attack you! My people only ask for fair settlement, will you please just speak with me?" Bard asked, pleading in his eyes and Thorin nodded and stepped from the wall to be more on level with the human, Bilbo close behind him.

"I am listening..." Thorin said looking the bowman in the eyes to make sure the truth was in them.

"On behalf of the people of Lake-town I ask that you honor your pledge...a share of the treasure so that they might rebuild their lives," Bard said, gently resting his arm up on a small ledge.

"I will give what is owed...but you must have the army outside go back to their holes..." Thorin said, glad that his One was beside him, his stomach was swirling from emotions he could not place, it was like his body and mind were fighting each other.

"King Thranduil says he is owed some gems from you..." Bard began only to be cut off

"The elf king feels he is owed much despite what he has taken...but, if it removes his presence from my home, fine, in fact, you may tell him that in exchange for his gems, he must swear that should a dwarf come to him in need again, from any of our settlements, he will offer them aid, if he swears on his honor that...I will gift wrap the jewels personally..." Thorin did not trust the elvish king to honor his word, but it would be very amusing to see him at least fake it for a while and he hoped that every time Thranduil looked upon the gems he would remember they came at the cost of forcing him to help those that he hated most should a time of need rise again.

Plus that smile Bilbo was giving him after saying it was worth more than some elvish necklace

"Thank you Thorin, king under the mountain" Bard said smiling 

"your people may rest in the western halls, they are close enough to the forges to be warm and it is clean enough to house wounded, I will send out a raven to my kin in the Iron Hills to send food and other necessities but you will have to deal with whatever materials you can find till then inside the mountain," Thorin said, Dain would be very confused about all this, but he would be very amused about it too no doubt, They would be able to fashion blankets out of whatever clothing, drapes and actual bedding they could salvage, it would take a few hours, but he guessed it would take that long to find the items and get a letter sent out.

Bard said more thanks before riding back into Dale and Thorin turned to Bilbo, his stomach upset now seemed to have stopped for some reason.

Bilbo wanted to know that Thorin's generosity was appreciated by more than just Bard and got on his tiptoes to place a soft kiss on the bearded mouth, glad to find it was now warm to the touch and almost squeaked when arms wrapped around his hips to lift him up for a more enthusiastic snogging which drew cheers from the ones watching from above.

"Hey, uncle don't knock up our little uncle before mother can arrive and scold you for it!" 

"KILI!!!!"


	24. Chapter 24

Sleep evaded Thorin for much of the night, his home needed so much repair,the plumbing still thankfully worked, and it was a nice surprise to find the hot springs were still active, and they found the pool that offered drinking water, they just needed to check and make sure the filtration system was still effective before they could try to use from it not to mention his engagement was going much faster than was proper for a royal dwarf, not that he had much of a kingdom to look up to him at the moment.

Normally dwarves took 2 years of courting, with courting gifts given at least once every six months for the two years, usually battle gear or if the couple felt their chances were high for having children, items to help in the building of home and family.

Kili's comment, as teasing as it had been, did bring up the fact that they had to slow things down a bit, Bilbo did not seem the type to give himself easily, but considering how many children he saw running about the Shire well he was wandering lost said that the act of procreation was done freely and often between couples, perhaps this was expected? Perhaps even shameful to not have a brood? 

Bilbo had even mentioned in passing how one of his cousins had THIRTY fauntlings! How did they feed them all?! Not to mention the reprocutions on the wife's body...then again he was surprised at how much Bilbo had survived...falling, getting smashed into, nearly drowning, perhaps hobbits were sturdier than they looked? Still they would need to be careful...Thorin did not want to hurt him...it was already a worrying question with their size difference...his hobbit was even small by his species standards! Yes he was taller than most but he was skinnier and even during their first meeting lacked a belly, perhaps this was a family trait? both pictures of his parents looked like they had been of the petite frame as well.

Oh, right they would need to talk about a marriage contract...

It would cover the basics, days that were meant for their significant others to be by themselves if they wished, family visits, bedroom arrangements if the father would or would not attend any births that occurred, and since he would be the consort to the king, what meetings he wished to attend if any, anything in the marriage contracts could be changed if the spouses wished and some even chose to do without them, since they mostly were for keeping a third party from interfering and sticking their noses where they did not belong.

He would also need to set up a royal council...perhaps members of the company would accept? They already showed their loyalty to him and Erebor well the other members of the noble houses had refused to even hear him out about the quest, wonder how they would feel when miners and toymakers received a royal seal of nobility? 

They had already tried to backseat rule well he was trying to set up a settlement in the Blue Mountains, let no great tragedy go unexploited indeed.

Well that little game was going to end here

Royal robes would need to be made, new seals would be done to be given out to allies, perhaps an arrow through a dragon symbol for Bard? And Thorin would restrain himself from giving a defecating goat one to Thranduil...perhaps something more subtle to get passed not only the elf king but also keep Bilbo from boxing his ears? A thought for later perhaps...

Dwarves by the hundreds would arrive at the mountain, carts of them, his sister would be there sooner than later and would want to know every little detail of their quest and no doubt would get some ranting in once she learned of Kili's sickness, but all that was days if not weeks away, he had time to perhaps send a letter to her and explain, so a long journey would have opportunity to cool her temper at least a bit, he did not want to leave his One a widower before they properly married or even courted! 

The mithril shirt was just the first step and he only hoped it would never need to be used in actual battle 

Thorin got up and wrote a small letter and sent it out with a raven, it would detail what they needed and why, hopefully help would arrive soon and he could properly get things moving to move his people back to the mountain and they could get working on building it back up and be able to go into other towns for supplies without worry.

The dawn came before anyone knew it and they heard the sounds of hooves outside indicating that more than just bard had come and looking outside they saw the laketowners, all in a sorry state, plus several elves including Thranduil himself looking at them, expectantly.

"We welcome the people of Laketown, enter freely and we shall provide what we can" Thorin said easily enough after practicing it in his head most of the night and fought back a scowl as the elves also got closer to the enterance but the sight of children running past him was a joyful enough sight to cool his temper for a moment.

"Bombur has made some warm soup for whoever wants it and we have also found usable blankets and clothing" Bilbo said wanting to help Thorin out a bit, knowing he needed it and also wanted to be able to keep the dwarven king in a light mood, he would be helping with much bigger tasks very soon he had no doubt, a little test was good practice when things got bigger and bigger around him.

Thorin was glad to see Bilbo seemed to be fitting into his role as consort easily, that was very good for everyone involved, it would make the laketowners and coming dwarves love him, be at ease with them both, accept his role as co-ruler of the mountain without complaint.

Bofur and Bifur were in heaven happily showing what little toys they had managed to craft using the materials that Bifur had managed to find during his wandering around, the children were gratful for the distraction from everything and little Tilda even hugged Bofur when he presented her with a little handmade doll he made that looked like her.

The humans were moved to a sturdier part of the mountain where blankets and other soft items had been laid out for resting and sleeping on, it was nothing like how the bedrooms of Erebor used to be, but better than the cold ground, no one would argue that, the forges had made the room comfortably warm, not too warm that everyone would feel suffocated, no one wanted to feel like that, it would remind them too much of dragon fire,dwarves were used to the heat of the forges, but they knew humans did not possess as thick a skin as they did and too much heat after being in cold for so long could do more harm than good.

He did not like that wormy man wandering around...Bard seemed to think that with the master dead, that this creature was harmless, the king under the mountain was not so sure though, he may be a lazy weasel, but even then, a weasel had fangs and the mountain was full of people who were weak and could potentially be at risk, a few handfuls of gold being stolen would mean nothing, if that is what it took to get him out of his home he would leave a bag of it out ripe for plucking. 

The idiot would most likely grab the bag and run, not even caring that there was no civilization for miles and dark forces everywhere, he might even wander into the desert, did not seem the type to think to pack food and water.

Gold was a mighty force...it could overpower people's minds and make them abandon their own safety to get it...Thorin knew it well...

Erg...he needed to sleep, but he had so much work to do, thankfully he sent the letter but it could be days before the assistance arrived and fish would only go over well for so long, thankfully they had fresh water, the filtration was working still perfectly and the hot springs would offer an opportunity to bathe and get in some somewhat cleaner clothing even if it was small on them.

The white gems of Lasgalen were placed in a decorative box and as much as Thorin wanted to shove them into the elf kings face, the box was gently placed into Thranduil's hands by Balin, the king under the mountain not trusting himself to not just throw it into the smug leaf eaters face.

Thorin was glad when Thranduil was out of his mountain and looked outside to watch them leave when something caught his eye on the mountainside.

Wait...what was...was that a signal of some sort? No...it was-

"Orcs..."

"ORCS!!!!!!"


	25. Chapter 25

The pale orc stood upon the edge of a nearby mountain and shouted orders in his foul tongue and orcs seemed to materialize out of nowhere marching up the hills just as a raven flew downwards to Thorin and dwarvish trumpets sounded.

This was going to get messy...

A redheaded dwarf rode up the hill on a- pig?

"Thorin!!! Looks like you gave us the full welcoming party eh!?" Dain Ironfoot shouted grinning, his army behind him, he had not planned on using it today, but his boys needed a good fight! A mighty feast could wait! Perhaps those men by the door could become some new brothers in arms! What a story this was going to make! 

"Alrighty boys! looks like we got a bit of hammering to do in attendance to our rescue mission! Let's show them what we are made of!" Dain called behind him and cheers came from the warriors as they did as their commander said and marched forward ready to make their ancestors proud.

Inside the company raced to get ready to help the fight, strong but light armor was laced up as fast as possible, the heavier metal stuff was forced to be abandoned, they needed speed on their side and Thorin barked orders to the ones unable to fight to go deeper into the mountain for safety.

"Fili! Dwalin! You will come with me to make sure that this will be our last fight with the Defiler, Kili! Make sure the wounded laketowners are secured before coming to join us, Dori and Nori, gather what healthy members of the people you can to help fight and perhaps find a way to split up the masses of our enemy,Bard will no doubt be able to hold his ...troop well" Thorin did not want to mention the risks the healthy members of Laketown were taking going out there, but better to die in battle than be at the non-existent mercy of orcs after the fact.

"Gloin, Bombur, Bifur and Bofur,go out and make sure that our forces keep together, Oin, Balin, Ori, and Bilbo you stay close to the gates and keep any dark forces from entering the mountain! Keep an eye out for anything suspicious" as much as Thorin wanted his One to fight by his side, he knew that he could not risk it, he would do better here, this canon fodder would give them no trouble, rather than risk another confrontation with Azog himself, he doubted the pale orc would make the same mistake twice in regards to Bilbo, best wait till the snake was dead before they would all use a rush attack to destroy the remaining orcs.

They would be unstoppable if all went well

Everyone headed to do as asked 

Bilbo took a spot near Balin and watched as the others raced out into the fray, Thorin easily dodging attacks like they were mear flies trying to land on him and shouted some indistinct words to who he guessed was Dain before rushing back out with Fili and Dwalin at his side to go for where the strange signaling device was placed, now on the backs of rams, Bilbo would have laughed at how silly the sight was if the situation was not so serious.

Kili soon raced out after them after making sure the wounded people inside were in a secured place and helped lead out the ones who could still fight before allowing Bard to take over so he could follow his uncle and brother up the hill.

Bilbo did his best to hope for good luck on their side and prayed it would work, he knew that battles were unpredictable, but if he could at least turn the odds a bit in their favor...

"Look out Lad!" Oin shouted as a troll ran right at them a huge club above its head roaring and spit sprayed out of its open maw and the four ran around the legs slashing at the feet and trying to sever the tendons in the back to fell it.

Bilbo stabbed sting into the creature's foot and winced as the roar nearly deafened him with its force, ears ringing he pulled his dagger free and let the monster fall to the ground for Balin to finish off.

More creatures of the dark ran at them at seeing the fallen troll and decided to try their own luck.

This was not good...

\--

Thorin had not ridden a war ram in a long time but was thankful he had not forgotten how to properly stear the goat or how to keep from being launched into the air, his nephews and Dwalin would never let him live THAT down.

The goat ran and ran up the mountain faces seemingly taking no note of the dwarvish weight on its back, these magestic creatures had been bred to handle heavy carts and a fully armored dwarf and a tag-along rider if necessary, many people laughed at the sight of a war goat saying they were a stupid war animal, but they were more maneuverable than ponies and many who laughed did not do so very long ...

As much as the king under the mountain hated to admit it he was glad the elves were stepping up in the fight and helping out his kin, political nonsense meant very little when they had a threat to all of middle earth to fight and since they were already there, they had to fight their way through the madness and not just run off without a word.

again...

Not the time Thorin!!

\--

From a bit of a ways away Bilbo caught a glimpse of someone in a pointy hat riding up and it did not take him but a moment to figure out who it was

Gandalf! 

Who was that with him?

"Thrain!!!" 

A grubby looking Dwarf sat behind the wizard on the horse, leaning in close for warmth and protection against the bite of the quickly approaching chilly months since his clothing was nothing but tatters.

Thrain...that was Thorin's father!? 

"More orcs are coming from the north! they will overrun you all!" Gandalf said quickly getting off the horse and helping Thrain down, Balin ran over to him not knowing what he could possibly say to the one they thought dead "Take him inside, tend to him, these are just the pawns in Azogs game...much worse will be coming" Gandalf said as a small goblin ran over to him only to be smacked into the wall by the wizard's staff.

North...

"That's where Thorin is! And Fili...Kili..." Bilbo said, he had to go to them! "I have to warn them!" 

"The orcs will see you...and KILL you..." Gandalf said bluntly and the hobbit could only feel a twisting in his gut as he knew how to avoid that....

'They won't see me...they won't see me..." 

He could...would save them all, no matter what it cost him! 

\--

Legolas ran through the chaos and tried to find Tauriel only to see nothing but his father's forces and a few random dwarves, the short warriors seemed to be sticking to the battlefield itself and saw as one he recognized as Azogs son hauling his way to where four figures could be seen.

"So he is trying to help his father in his work..." normally the elf prince couldn't have cared less about dwarf lives, but if that one died...Tauriel could fade from grief...he could not let that happen.

Legolas drew his knives and slashed at the hideous creature only to meet the metal parts that had been grafted onto the sickly skin and almost earned a few missing fingers for his trouble.

Bolg grinned and swung his weapon at the elf seemingly missing on purpose to savor what he thought would be an easy kill and Legolas could not believe it when the ground seemed to fall out from under him as his boot, used to trees and forest floors, slide on the icy ground and he slammed into a rock face knocking the wind from his lungs.

Is this how he would be found? Impaled by an orc spear because of something as simple as slipping on ice? 

Bolg raised his spear, ready to pierce it right through Legolases chest when the whistle of a weapon sang and an ax was embedded into the orcs head making him fall lifeless to the ground.

"Saving the life of an elf...that will be a story to tell my lad!" grinned a redheaded dwarf who he remembered insulting the family of earlier before retrieving his weapon "well a bit of a favor for it, apologize for insulting my lovely wife and my son, and return that sword to the king and call it even!" 

Well, he could not exactly say no to that ....even if it did not make that little dwarf any less ugly....

\----

Tauriel ran through the seeming maze in the Ravenhill, part of her wanted to call out for Kili, but something told her to hold her tongue, to not shout out, it might distract Kili if he was fighting, she did not want that and she had her own hands full killing some stragglers that popped out at her.

A dark-haired dwarf caught her eye who was fighting a few smaller orcs 

"Kili...I'm coming ..." 

\---

Bilbo ran through the horde, dodging the best he could, axes, swords, spears swung close to him, nearly bashing him in the skull several times or other places, his legs burned at the force of running on hard rock and trying not to slip on ice, shouts of battle making his ears ring, the stench of blood was all around.

But everything in him screamed to keep going, to get to Thorin, to warn him, to save him and the boys, perhaps he could take out Azog well under this viel and end it then and there, Thorin would be so happy...but then he would have to reveal how he had...shouldn't that kill go to Thorin himself? After everything, he deserved it...no..wait...

Why was he thinking like that?! Thorin would not be mad with him over that! This ring was trying to make him who he wasn't! He needed to tell Gandalf about it as soon as possible!! 

As soon as Bilbo had Thorin in his sights he yanked the ring off and smelled clean air again, the fog no longer surrounding him.

"Where is that orc filth?" Dwalin growled looking around

"Thorin!" 

"Bilbo!" Thorin said both happy to see his One was alright and surprised 

"You have to leave here! Azog has another army attacking from the North! there will be no way out..." Bilbo gasped out 

"We are so close...that orc scum is in there...I say we push on.." Dwalin said trying to get passed Thorin only to be pushed back gently

"No, that's what he wants...he wants to draw us in...this is a TRAP...find Fili and Kili! draw them back! We will live to fight another day..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made an X-men reference, see if you can spot it, it has to do with Magneto


	26. Chapter 26

The three knew they had to get away quickly and find the boys, but before they could head for the exit, a sound, like the beating of a drum sounded and fire like light was seen inside the broken towers nearby.

Slowly a tall, pale figure walked out of the fog, dragging a smaller figure behind him

"Oh..."

No no ...

Azog lifted Fili up and shouted in his foul tongue about the poor prince being the first to die and then Kili and Thorin would follow.

"GO!!! RUNNN!!!" Fili shouted to them as all the three could do was watch in horror as a blade was poised at Fili's back ready to impale him, the older brother wanted them all safe, even in what he believed to be his final moments, he still was thinking of his family.

No! This is not how it should end! 

"STOOOOOP!!!!"

CRACK!

The ledge that Azog had Fili hanging over suddenly began to crumble and the orc fell off to the side with most of the falling dirt and rock and Fili bounced down the rubble before landing safely in front of his uncle, no doubt with a very sore bum, but very much un-stabbed.

"That happened..." Fili said rubbing his bottom and Thorin laughed and helped his nephew to his feet.

"Seems luck is on our side this day!" Thorin said as he took notice of Azog running off into another part of the mess, no doubt many of his numbers were killed in the slide and chased after him, he had a feeling Kili was that way "Get Fili back down to the others" 

Bilbo just nodded at Dwalin who was already leading Fili away and ran after Thorin, ignoring the shout of his name by the tattooed dwarf and the prince, he was going to follow Thorin to the end.  
\--

Thorin jumped back as a sword, Orcrist, dropped in front of him and looked up to see the liar's son bouncing away to grab hold of what looked to be a giant bat, picking up the sword, he swung it once, it felt right,in his hands once more, he would question the motive of its return later.

He could see the filth heading towards Kili who was with the elf lass both doing their best to fight a small group of orcs and a couple of goblins higher up the ridge, no doubt trying to go from youngest to oldest now that his attempt to take the older sibling had failed.

Thorin ran as fast as his legs could carry him and slashed at Azog's legs managing to get the back of his left one causing the orc commander to fall once more off to the side, his larger size the only thing keeping him from being struck down then and there ,by the dwarf king.

Bilbo wanted to help but more orcs appeared forcing him to pick up random bits of rubble to throw at them, each hitting their mark but unable to keep Thorin and Azog from taking their battle away from his sights.

̃̃̃**

The pale orc swung at the king under the mountain with a large boulder he had attached to a chain and Thorin swung over and under it to avoid being hit but this was easier said than done as their new fighting grounds were a frozen over waterfall and the ice was thinner than he would like in areas as just as slippery as expected.

Ice cracked all around him as the boulder smashed into the surface, Thorin prayed it would not break completely and send him into it's frigid waters, the dwarf king slipped as more cracked away and ice lifted up around him in the water unsteady ground now was all around him and he still had to dodge the rock.

Thorin spun his body around on the ice block narrowly avoiding being hit by stone and managed to get to his feet just as it slammed down again and apparently became too stuck in the ice to come loose and the dwarf saw the monster get a look on his face that showed something he did not like was behind the king.

Soft whistles sang in the air as the large eagles flew above them and Azog turned to look at them.

Now!

Thorin grabbed up the rock, his gloves making easy work of it, and lifted it out of the hold just as Azog turned to him again and threw it into the orcs arms making him give a look that would have made the king under the mountain laugh if he was not so exhausted and slowly stepped off of the unsteady ice sheet letting gravity do its work.

Azog screamed in a rage and tried to claw his way back up as the cold water sucked him under like a spector and Thorin picked up his dropped sword to get back to the others.

Now he could...oh...

Azog floated under the ice, eyes open and Thorin slowly followed him, wanting to make sure his enemy was dead with his own eyes.

Stab...stab ...stab....make sure he's dead....

"RARG!!!" 

Thorin shouted as he felt a rush of energy as his arms lifted Orcrist and smashed it into the ice through the supposed corpses' chest causing a soundless scream to erupt from the beast under him as his life was truly ended. 

The king under the mountain collapsed to his knees, the fight and whatever force that had helped him keep from being the victim of a surprise attack having taken every ounce of energy he had from him, blood dripped from a wound he did not even remember how he got, his entire body felt like it had turned to jam, but he had to get up, find Fili, Kili and Bilbo, get everyone back to the mountain, make sure the end of the dark commander's life would truly make the rest leave.

"Thorin!" Came a voice from behind him and Thorin turned to see Bilbo running towards him trying not to slide on the ice.

The king smiled seeing his One "It's over now Bilbo! We can finally-" 

CRACK

Suddenly 

Bilbo was gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so evil..


	27. Chapter 27

Cold...

He couldn't move...

_Dark..._

_Was this the price he would pay?_

_He was alright with it...if it saved three others, what did his life matter in the end?_

_ILBO! BILBO!!!_

_What...let him rest...._

Air burst around him as the hobbit was pulled upwards and into a warm embrace, cold had seeped into his bones and even his feet were freezing despite normally being protected against cold by the thick skin on them.

Thorin quickly took off his outer jacket and wrapped it around Bilbo to try and warm him somewhat, he had to get him to Oin...at least he was still shivering, it would be more concerning if he was not.

He was moving....there seemed to be a warmth around him but it was not enough to absorb into his skin ...he wished it would...so close...yet so far...

_tay wi- us lad-_

_What...who...Balin..._

_Do something! prissy-_

_Dwalin..._

\--

"Is there nothing else that can be done?" Thorin questioned the healer elf he had allowed to tend to Bilbo since Oin was pre-occupied with too many patients as is "when will he wake...will he wake?" The king under the mountain hated to think he would lose his One, he had gotten his father back and for that, he was beyond grateful, but he wanted Thrain to know Bilbo, to officially introduce them when both were awake and lucid.

"I cannot say, he was thankfully not in the water for long and you kept him warm as you could with what you had, but even the momentary shock and the long ride back down the hills did not do him well at all, his recovery is up to him at this point," the healer said, he did not want to give the king false hope, but he did not want to crush his hope either, something all the races of middle earth could agree on was the loss of the other half of their soul was devastating and many could not go on afterward, some simply faded well others took a more...direct approach, the king had much to live for though, he had his nephews, his kingdom, his people, his family and he was still in proper health.

"Leave us a moment" Thorin almost whispered and the elf was glad for his enhanced hearing otherwise he might not have heard it and just nodded and stepped out of the tent that had been set up inside the mountain for privacy, to be out of sight but also there if he was needed. 

Thorin sat down next to the cot that the hobbit was laying on, Bilbo looked pale and worn out, like his lifeforce had been sucked out of him and the dwarf found himself running his fingers through the still damp curls, promising himself he would put his braid and marriage bead in them as soon as he could. 

"You broke me out of the fog with a kiss...perhaps I can do the same for you?" Thorin chuckled humorlessly to himself before deciding to go for it and leaned forward, placing a gentle kiss on the chilled lips, trying to will them to be warm once more.

Nothing

"Well...it was worth a try..." Thorin said breaking away and went to go call the elf back in only to find he could not move from his chair, for a weak but steady grip kept him there.

Green eyes, darkened over from his brush with death were cracked open as their owner tried to move, no doubt wanting to get up to properly converse with the dwarf only to be pushed back down and covered up more "Thor-"

"No...you stay there and keep warm...don't talk, just rest..." Thorin wanted to shout with joy and jump like he was a pebble again, only years of proper training kept him from dancing a jig that would have made Bofur jealous, his One was going to live...

They were all alive! This day could not get any better! 

"Uncle! Uncle!Uncle! Uncle!Uncle! Uncle!Uncle! Uncle!Uncle! Uncle!Uncle! Uncle!Uncle! Uncle!" Came two voices in perfect unison before Fili and Kili burst in ignoring the healer elves squeal of anger and shock.

Thorin just rolled his eyes, too happy to scold them for their lack of manners "What is it? Bilbo is awake now, but he needs his rest so no bouncing on him!" 

Both brothers ran over and thankfully heeded their uncles warnings and just offered some well wishes to their soon-to-be little uncle and flipped back around to tell Thorin what they saw and heard.

"Nori he well..."

"Vomited on Thranduil's shoes!" 

Well, this day COULD get better....

"As it turns out..."

"Nori is PREGNANT!" 

"Him and Dwalin did the duty!" 

"WHEN did THAT happen?" Thorin could not help but ask, his comrade in arms had usually made it no secret that he considered Nori to be his rival of sorts considering the others thieving ways, if they ...did ..that...that meant booze was involved, but the last time they really drank enough to....oh...that meant throughout most of their journey they had a babe on the road with them! 

"Dwalin called a summer wedding"

"Spring is nicer anyway, it would fit uncle Thorin and uncle Bilbo better"

"No, a fall one is best! on Durin's day!" 

"That's a whole year away though!" 

"OUT!" Thorin did not want to scream when his One desperately needed peace and quiet, but he most certainly was not going to get it with them bickering over wedding preparations.

"Oh right...sorry...we will go see how our mummy to be is doing," Kili said rushing out of the tent, Fili at his heels. 

"They...are good boys...but very noisy..." Bilbo rasped out before coughing and was grateful to be handed a cup of water to soothe his throat.

"We both are stuck with them" Thorin chuckled and Bilbo just smiled back 

"I would not have it any other way"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wanted to end things on a happy note
> 
> stay tuned for updates on other stories ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Now Bilbo is going to get a few lucky "freebies" considering his "bad luck" also can build up (and I think dwarves destroying your carpets and blowing up the shitter after eating all your cheese counts as bad luck ) not to mention losing his hankie and only getting a piece of cloth that has been God knows where, as a replacement 
> 
> So yeah, bad luck can also build up and lead to a lot of good luck, keep that idea in mind...


End file.
